Tug O War Princess
by Sesshy's Mistress
Summary: What if L wasn't the only one to be chained to Light? What if another, someone much more pleasant was as well? What insanity would ensue? What does a girl have to do to get some peace, quiet, and privacy away from the two detectives? Poor Usagi...
1. Awkward Positions

**Tug Of War**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon nor Death Note!**

**Note: Like this? Check out my other DN/SM crossovers and be sure to leave me a review! The more people like my stories, the more I will create and update!**

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How did she get into this situation? Who up there had she royally pissed off? These were the thoughts that flittered throughout Usagi Chiba's mind. Oh, that's right, she just happened to be a close friend of Misa-Misa's at the time of her abduction. What the hell was she thinking when she thought to attack the one's 'attacking' her friend? Yep, she must have accidentally smoked something that day. Anyone would realize that Misa-Misa was being arrested for some reason and that they should definitely _not _interfere!

Next thing you know, Mrs. Chiba ends up blindfolded, handcuffed, and carried away as well. Really, what was this world coming to? What's worse, it was all because of the serial killer Kira. Gah! Wait, back up, it wouldn't have been half as bad if Mamoru hadn't of just _had_ to attend the medical conference in Katou. Well… she _had_ insisted on accompanying him. She must have been smoking something then too, Usagi internally argued with herself as she thought back on what had brought her to these circumstances.

After being held up for fifty days in a prison cell, Usagi just about lost her mind. She could only imagine how worried her Mamo-chan was about her. This was _not _according to plan. She and Mamoru were to get married, have Chibi-Usa, and become King and Neo-Queen. Not have some weird serial killer with a 'no-body-understands-me-and-my parents-don't-love-me-so-I-must-act-out' complex go about killing everyone and causing world-wide terror. By the time her abductors had questioned her for the 76th time on her knowledge of Kira #1 and Kira #2, Usagi had gotten so mad that she transformed right in front of the cameras. Later she lived to regret it when her abductor, L, replayed it. How come no one ever told her that she was naked for a brief amount of time while transforming?!

Oh, well! As Minako would say, "No use spilling milk!" Aiyah. Why do things like this happen to her? Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples with her hands. The shackles closed around her wrist slid down further on her small arm and reminded her of where she was much to her despair.

Memories continued to flood her mind as she remembered the weird gleam in both L and Light's eyes after learning of her true identity. To her utter amusement, they both seemed to be working double time on trying to earn her trust before the other. Sadly, not long after her release from custody, she and Mamoru were going out to shop for furniture for their new house. They had decided to move out of their apartment, and, while they were in Katou, they thought it would be fun to browse around through the distributers there. Unfortunately, neither of them suspected to be attacked while drawing yen out of a atm. A guy ran over, shoving Mamoru off of the sidewalk and into the oncoming traffic while also slamming Usagi into a wall and taking off with the yen. Usagi was knocked unconscious and saved from having to see her love from being hit head on by a bus.

She awoke a couple weeks later in a hospital bed. The news was devastating, but as she moved to wipe her eyes, she felt an unusually heavy weight on both wrists. Looking at them, she was shocked to see that both wrists were cuffed and on either side of the chains were Ryuuzaki and Light Yagami.

::Flashback::

"_Itai!" _

"_Mrs Chiba can you please calm down and cease your screaming?" Ryuuzaki questioned calmly from the left side of Usagi's bed. Her head turned sharply towards him and, through swollen and red eyes filled with grief and confusion, she lifted her left arm and pointed to it with her right._

"_What are these for?" she demanded with a sniffle, completely ruining the attempt to look fully enraged._

"_I believe that you are being targeted by Kira. Thus, for your safety, I have bounded you to Light and myself through these shackles. Light, as you know, was already shackled to my wrist due to my belief of him being Kira. After the terrible accident with your husband and your near death, I believe more than ever that Light is Kira and that he has reasons to have you killed. The best way to protect you is to keep you close at all times."_

"_Ryuuzaki! How could you be so crude at a time like this? She just lost her soul mate and you are acting like it was simply an everyday occurrence to lose someone you love!" Light stood up and reached over the bed to grab the lethargic detective by the collar. Hauling L up on his feet, Light jerked him halfway over the bed to yell more at him. What he didn't take into account, however, was that the bindings also pulled Usagi up and squished her between the two males._

_Just then, Matsuda happened to walk in, "Light, Ryuuzaki-san, what are you doing to poor Miss Usagi-chan?" At his outburst, both L and Light looked down to see a petrified and red faced Usagi. Light immediately let go of L and went to apologize to Usagi._

_Before he could get a word in, however, Matsuda opened his big mouth once again, "Oi, Miss Usagi-chan, how did it feel to be a sandwiched like that?"_

_Immediately, Usagi's mind flashed back to a time when Minako had been whispering x-rated fantasies to the girls that she had been having. One of which included her and two of her most favorite singers, Yaten and Seiya. Needless to say, it somehow got switched around to all the other girls and their favorite two guys they'd love to have for themselves one night. Usagi had, of course, stated that she only needed her Mamo-chan, but Mina insisted on adding that Seiya seemed interested enough and how, if Mamoru was up to it, she could definitely have a threesome in the future. Usagi was on the verge of passing out but Minako wasn't finished. A Usagi Sandwhich came into play and the next thing she knew, she was out like Chad was that time he walked in on Rei bathing._

"_HENTAI'S!" Usagi shouted when she had pulled herself from her reverie. _

::End Flashback::

Usagi ended up being in a lot of situation similar to the one from the hospital. She was actually in one at the moment. Light, Usagi, and Ryuuzaki sat on a couch opposite of the one Misa-Misa was currently sitting on. The blonde pop-idol, model, and actress sat crossed legged with a pout while eyeing Ryuuzaki and glaring at Usagi. Every since Usagi had been chained up to the two detectives, Misa-Misa had taken a large disliking to her. It really wasn't Usagi's fault but she never said anything when Misa-Misa flirted with Mamo-chan. Of course, Usagi knew Mamoru only had eyes for her…or did.

Usagi was drawn out of her musings altogether when she heard Light question why L was depressed, "Ryuuzaki, why are you depressed?" L looked towards the blonde haired girl sitting next to him and studied her sincerity to his mood deeply. Usagi began to feel nervous with L's big eyes staring into hers so soundly that she began to scoot away from the detective. In time like these, it was hard to say what the detective would say or do. He did have his 'moments'. Light watched in amusement as the girl scooted closer towards him unknowingly. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Misa fuming silently and glaring fully at the innocent woman. Usagi remained oblivious until she had bumped up against Light's side. Turning around, she came close to head butting the brunette.

"Oh, sorry, Light-san," Usagi chirped and hopped back over to where she was situated before. Light silently wondered why she refused to drop the honorifics to his name but happily did so with Ryuuzaki. For some reason, he felt angry and …jealous?

"I always thought Light was Kira," L said after shaking himself of the irritation that Usagi's close proximity with Light had caused. Instead, he took a bite of Misa's cake before continuing, "The shock from being wrong has been too much." His eyes turned to look towards Usagi and he noted the sympathetic look she carried.

"No, I still think it could be true," after saying this, L turned his attention on Light before taking a mouthful of cake once again, "That is why I have taken extra precaution and am forced to go to a more extreme measurements." L lifted his hand which caused Usagi's smaller one to raise as well.

"But, if Kira controlled Lights actions to begin with to make me suspect him… If he and Misa are truly innocent and were under Kira's control," Light tilted his head sideways and regarded Light with a critical eye. Usagi looked between the two of them as they stared hard upon one another, "Then all the pieces in my head connect."

"Wait, if that is indeed correct, than Misa and I were Kira even if we were under Kira's control the entire time," Light sat upright but still held his arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes."

"They wouldn't have been conscious of what they were doing. Their knowledge of right and wrong was impaired and nothing but what Kira wanted them to do was done. He would haven taken away their free will, much like the 'god' he assumes himself to be," Usagi added in, hoping to not be entirely lost on what L was getting at.

"Yes. I don't think either statement is wrong," L lifted a hand to pat Usagi on the head much like on would pet a dog, cat, or any other pet-like a bunny, Usagi's namesake and the nickname L came to use for her.

"Those two were indeed Kira." Usagi began to think deeply on the possibilities of a mortal possessing mind control. For some reason, she couldn't see a normal human being possessing such a capability; it screamed Nega-scum too loudly. However, there was no energy signature to suggest anyone from the negaverse was active.

Usagi felt a tug at her wrist and looked up to notice that Light had stood from his sitting position. His eyes seemed focused solely on L, as if nothing else and no one else around him existed. Usagi was about to tug on the chain that connected her to him to snap him out of it, but it was too late, "Ryuuzaki!" Usagi and Misa both gasped out in shock and horror as Light slammed his fist into L, sending L toppling over the side of the chair and into the floor a ways away from it. Unfortunately for Usagi, she was sent flying as well, pulling Light with her; however, Light managed to land on his feet whereas Usagi landed sprawled across the floor, her face awfully close to having landed in L's lap. A heated blush flooded her face and she swore she was red from her head to her toe.

"That hurt," she heard L say after recovering. He took no notice of her but Serena could hear Misa's wailing in the back ground; it was giving her a headache, especially after the tumble she just took. Spots still danced before her eyes. Unlike Light, she had hit her head before rolling over onto her stomach. He had simply flipped to his feet in mid air!

By the time Usagi had cleared her vision, she was sent flying again, this time towards Light. Her fall was much softer as she bounced onto the sofa before falling flat against Light's body, lying atop him fully. She felt the impact of L's body hitting the back of the couch, toppling it right when she had pushed herself up and turned to check on him.

Misa screamed loudly again as the couch tilted backwards and fell. Three grunts of pain and one gasp of horror echoed soundly behind Misa's wailing. Somehow, someway, Serena ended up on her back, the back of her head resting on Ryuuzaki's lap and Light sprawled on top of _her_! If Usagi wasn't blushing all over she certainly was now with Light's head having landed on her chest. Usagi was petrified! She pushed Light off of her and tugged furiously at her skirt, pushing it down so no one either in the room or watching on camera would see.

"Bunny," L called to her after she had managed to sit upright atop her knees. Usagi turned an embarrassed and humiliated eye towards him as she continued to hold down her skirt, "Y-yes?"

"Wherever did you get that pair of pink bunny covered panties?"

_Thump!_

"Usagi!" both Misa and Light called out in shock as the blonde pigtailed girl proceeded to pass out at that very instant. Meanwhile, L stayed sitting in his now crossed legged position on the floor. Adjusting so he was in his normal crouch, L pushed his thumb into the corner of his lips, smiling lecherously as he watched Light and Misa try to revive the rabbit. The image of her skirt flapping about and landing rather high on her derriere filled his mind. One couldn't help but notice the flash of pink amongst the many layers of white. He was, after all, only a man.

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**This will be a series of one shots dedicated to the handcuff scenes of Light and L; however, as you just read, Usagi is in the mix! How many horrible situations can she get into before she goes Moon and beats the pervert out of the two?**

**Tune in next time! Until then, leave a review! Please? **

**Note: I'm in a depressed mood and my muse for writing is fading due to lack of review response to my hard work and dedication. So, please leave a review to inspire me.**

**ALSO**

**If you have a theme idea, leave me a message via review OR if you have a funny scene you'd love to see played out, also leave that idea in a review. I'm more than happy to take suggestions :)**

**Next time: How on earth is a girl supposed to take a shower or use the restroom with two men cuffed to her being 24/7?!  
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**Sesshy**


	2. Rub A Dub Dub

**Tug O War Princess**

_**Sesshy's Mistress**_

**Summary: What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note!**

**Note: Like this? Check out my other DN/SM crossovers and be sure to leave me a review! The more people like my stories, the more I will create and update!**

**I want to send my thanks to those that reviewed the first chapter! I'm so happy you all enjoyed it and shared your enjoyment with me. This chapter is for you all, Usagi Uchiha (Your suggestion will be either in chapter 4 or 5), Zipora Tsuki (blush), Failisse (tehe well he is still a man after all), and Serenity Moonlight (thanks). Also thanks to Android17sWife for adding me to her alert and to Deaths-child for adding me to the C2.**

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Usagi stood staring at the shower curtain with a look of desperate need and then she looked to her left and right, eyeing the two detectives cuffed to her. Yes! Indeed she had a problem. One shower, one girl, two boys, and a pair of cuffs. Truly, that did not add up to a very good mix.

"How am I supposed to shower with you two attached to me?!" Usagi cried out in aggravation while throwing her hands up into the air. As predicted, one hand of L's and one hand of Light's raised with hers. Oh God, this definitely wasn't going to end very well. Usagi felt like crying at the unfairness of the situation.

A small sniffle echoed throughout the small but cozy bathroom. Lowering her arms, Usagi turned towards L. With her feet spread apart, hip cocked to the side, and hands fisted to rest on her hips, she sent him a very irritated and expecting look.

L simply tilted his head to the side while regarding her look. His large black eyes blinked shut slowly, making him seem like a owl. Considering his sleeping habits, or lack thereof, he could possibly pull that off without trouble. Usagi shivered at the thought of L's head spinning around backwards like the girl from that one horror movie had done. Oh great, this was definitely not helping her predicament.

"I have to shower!" Usagi snapped at the detective. Usually, Usagi never grew angry let alone snapped at anyone; however, it seems that hygiene issues brought out the worst of her. Well, that and food. L smirked as he recalled how they had gotten into this situation.

::Flashback::

"_Are you planning on finishing that?" L inquired of the oddly quiet woman seated between himself and Light at the monitoring desk. Usagi looked up, meeting his gaze and following it down towards the half eaten piece of cherry cheesecake._

"_Of course," Her small hands wrapped protectively around the dish and she leaned her body forward, hiding the dessert from his view. L nodded his head while whipping up the whip cream and cherry sauce remains from his dish. He brought his sugar coated finger up to his mouth, sucking on the tip and cleaning it. Pulling his finger from his mouth, he pointed at the dish she was hiding, "You have just been picking at it for the past thirty minutes. If you don't plan to finish it, I am going to take it."_

"_You best keep your hands to yourself, Ryuuzaki!" Usagi warned while pushing L's rolling chair away with her sock covered foot._

"_Ryuuzaki you can have my piece if you promise to leave Usagi's alone," Light sighed and slid his piece of untouched cheesecake towards the other detective; however, L simply pushed it back towards him._

"_I want Usagi's," L replied in a subtle whine while he kept his eyes trained on the girl's piece. Usagi's eyes widened and she sat there flabbergasted for a moment. Was she the only one to pick up the whine in that? Turning her head towards Light, she noticed that he also threw L a confused look. Nope, she wasn't the only one to notice._

_Suddenly, Usagi felt as if something was wrong, but she couldn't figure it out. Turning her attention back towards L, she couldn't help but to notice that he was popping a piece of cheesecake into his mouth. _

_Blink._

_Blink._

_Usagi looked down at the table and noted the lack of a china dish with a delicious piece of cheesecake atop of it. Her hands, however, were still in the same position they had been, wrapped possessively around what had been the dish but was now nothing but air. How had L managed to get her piece without her feeling it? _

"_Delicious…" she heard L murmur as he finished off her piece. That was it, this meant war! Usagi made to lunge towards L, fist raised and ready to attack him, but Light wrapped his arms around her and held her back. Usagi was pulled flush back against Light's chest while she squirmed and struggled to be free and to pummel the desert stealing, raccoon wannabe, genius detective. _

"_Light you let me go right this instant, I'm going to save Kira the trouble and kill Ryuuzaki myself!" Usagi doubled her efforts but she was soon growing tired from all the struggling. Light's arms were like steel when they were wrapped around her. _

"_Light, oh Light what are you-" Misa came calling for her boyfriend but stopped midstep when she noticed the position _her _boyfriend was in with a blonde that definitely was not Misa-Misa. Anger and jealousy flooded Misa's thought and she reached out to throw the nearest thing. Much to L and Usagi's dismay, Misa picked up the remaining cheesecake left inside of the pan. Why had they forgot to put it up?! _

"_Misa, calm down-" Light tried to calm his girlfriend while keeping Usagi from attacking L, but Misa wasn't listening. Usagi, L, and Light watched as Misa picked up the cheesecake pan and lifted it up and behind her head. They all could only stare as she took a step forward and threw her arms forward, sending the cake flying towards Usagi's head._

"_Eep!" Usagi cried out as Light pulled her out of the way at the last second. Instead, the cheesecake went flying past them and hit L smack dab in the middle of the face. Both Light and Usagi looked up in surprise and amusement at the disheveled detective._

"_Oh my God!" Usagi started to bust out laughing, totally ignoring Misa and the killing intent that radiated off of her. During the dodge, Light hand landed sitting on the floor and had pulled Usagi down with him, making her land on his lap. While she laughed, she was leaning back against him for support. Light studied her happy and laughing face (something rare as of late) before joining in the laughter. _

_The clattering sound of tin hitting the cold floor brought them out of their laughing; however, the silence didn't last long. L's face was completely covered in the delicious cheesecake. His hair was dripping with quickly melting whip cream, and big splotches of red covered a few areas of his face, neck, and, now, his clothes. _

_Usagi pulled from light and crawled over to L, making sure to avoid any cheesecake that had fallen to the floor. Pushing herself up to her knees, she became face to face with L's crouched form. Lifting the hand that had her chained to the miffed detective, she wiped up some of the desert from the tip of his nose and stuck her finger in her mouth, "Yummy!"_

_L glared at the small woman kneeling in front of him. With his hand that was free of any shackle, he reached over for Light's piece of untouched cake, "Oi, Usagi-chan."_

_Usagi opened her eyes and came face to face with a piece of cheesecake lunging for her. She 'eeped' and let gravity take over as she fell back with a quick jerk. L was pulled down and off his chair by the action and his hand ended up going straight for Light, smearing the cake into Light's face and down his chest. Usagi, however, ended up with blobs of cheesecake falling off of L's face and onto hers. His body was pressed down against hers so all the cheesecake that had made its way to his shirt was now smeared onto her as well. Usagi cringed as she felt the squish of some globs of cheesecake also pressing into her back. Cheesecake and suede definitely did NOT go together. _

"_Ryuuzaki get off," Usagi whimpered while she tried to push him off of her. L smirked and dipped his head down to kiss off a bit of cheesecake on Usagi's chin. He ignored the indignant growl of disapproval from Light and the small 'eep' from Usagi. L pushed himself to a sitting position and looked on at the red face of the poor girl. It was so much fun to torment the poor thing. Making her blush had become a favorite sport for him._

"_Ryuuzaki," L heard his name being called and looked past Usagi and to Light. The taller man was wiping off his face. L couldn't help but be thankful for Usagi's automatic reflexes. He had been dying to mess up that 'pretty' face of Lights for some time. He was sure the preppy boy would have a black eye considering that his palm had hit him in the eye. Served him right._

"_Light, no!" Usagi tried to stop Light as he lunged for the still grinning L. Unfortunately for her, she ended up slipping on the cherry juice that had made its way to the ground. She fell, face first to the floor, yanking Light and L on top of her. Both detectives jumped apart and grimaced at the contact they had just inadvertently made. They made a not to themselves to disinfect their clothes as soon as possible. Usagi, in the meantime, had been hauled back up with arms spread wide apart, "Ow, not too far you guys, what do I look like? A rag doll?"_

"_Sorry." They both said at once._

"_Maybe you three should clean up," the voice of Matsuda piped up from behind the three. They all turned to see him and Aizawa restraining a very livid Misa from attacking and throwing anything else at Usagi._

"_Heh, yes…" Usagi nodded and stood. L and Light had to reach out and steady her when her foot nearly slipped again. Together, the three made their way up the stairs and towards the closet bathroom._

::End Flashback::

Now, here they all were, covered from head to toe in smeared cheesecake and cheery sauce. Usagi looked herself over in the mirror and winced at the sight of a big glob of it smeared into her hair. Reaching up, she let her hair free of the buns sitting atop it. Light and L watched as her hair cascaded down her back in long golden waves. They both could only stare as she picked at the chunks of cheesecake until none was left but the bit that was smeared in her hair.

"My hair…" she whimpered and then turned a determined and angry eye to both men.

"Listen here; this is how it's going to go. You two are going to close your eyes and keep them that way while I undress and shower!" Usagi sent them a 'don't mess with me' look. The two detectives silently gulped and nodded before closing their eyes. They heard the rustling of fabric and a curse each time their skin accidentally brushed against hers.

"Crap!" they heard her cry out and L opened one eye to see what the matter was. Usagi was undressed down to just her pink lace underwear, but her shirt was still halfway on her body thanks to the cuffs. Usagi, feeling someone looking at her, gasped and tried to hit L with her hand, "You pervert! I said keep them closed!!!" Unfortunately, the twisted sleeves of her shirt made it hard and only caused her to lose her balance. Gravity once again took its toll when she tripped back on her jeans, slipped up on her sock, backed into the side of the tub, and fell in with a hard thump. Light had opened his eyes in shock at being tugged down and soon found himself squished beside her in the tub with his body half covering hers. L, like Light, had been yanked down as well. He had reached out with his long arms to grab a hold of anything to keep from falling. L's large hand grasped the shower curtain, pulling it down to cover them. His elbow hit the shower handle, turning it on so that the water shot down on the three.

Usagi screamed bloody murder as she tried to hide her half-naked body from the two men in the tub with her. She grabbed the shower curtain, pulling it towards her body while elbowing the other two away from her. Her tiny little fists went flying while her feet kicked the air. Try as she may to get up, she couldn't. Light and L's bodies had filled the tub and wedged them together. Who knew the two detectives had such big butts?

In another room a couple of floors down, the rest of the task force along with a recently sedated Misa watched everything unfold. They coughed back their laughter at the picture before them. Thank God for video tapes. This would definitely be something to look back on when anyone had a bad day. There, in the bathroom, with the shower rod spitting out streams of water into the tub, sat the world's two best detectives and one soggy superhero/princess. Half their bodies were inside the tub while their legs dangled outside of the tub, struggling to push themselves up and out of the tub; however, the curtain that had wrapped itself around them, the slick surface of the tub, and the non carpeted floor, had made it hard for them to get a grip and pull themselves up. Thus, once again, Usagi ended up sandwiched between the two men. Only, this time, half naked and soaking wet.

"Talk about rub a dub dub, three men in a tub…" Matsuda mumbled under his breath.

"More like rub a dub dub, two men and one pissed woman," Aizawa corrected Matsuda.

The next thing anyone knew, Usagi opened her mouth and screamed loudly when L's hand accidentally slipped and landed on her lap, right over her dainty pink laced underwear, **"YOU PERVERTS!"**

Somewhere inside the building, a large Shinigami dressed in black was laughing his ass off.

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**Well, for those that reviewed, like I said, you got an update very soon :) See what reviews do?! They help inspire me to write. So for those that didn't review (32 out of 36 people) review! Those that add me to C2, Faves, or Alerts, please leave me a lil something as well, thanks.**

**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter update!!!!!**

**Much Love,**

**Sesshy**

**Next Time! If you thought bath time was bad, imagine how bed time will be? How will Usagi make sure that hands are kept to themselves along with other parts of the body? Tune in and find out next time!**


	3. Bedtime Beatdowns

**Tug O War Princess**

_**Sesshy's Mistress**_

**Summary: What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note!**

**Note: Like this? Check out my other DN/SM crossovers and be sure to leave me a review! The more people like my stories, the more I will create and update! ALSO, I was going to have this out this morning; however, when I finished typing it this morning (12:30am) I saved (I know I did), closed out of Word, and went to upload it to . Sadly, the file didn't show up. My dumb *censor* computer had been acting retarded and didn't save the file! I couldn't and still can't find it. Thus I had to rewrite it. Sorry if this chapter sucks, but, no worries, next one will make you piss your pants, promise … I hope ….**

**Thanks to my awesome reviewers, C2-ers, and Alert-ers!!! I'd name you all but I gotta get to typing this!!! Next time I promise!!! *kisses***

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Usagi's normally bright blue eyes stared almost lifelessly at the computer screen. Her usually neat appearance was somewhat lacking. Her complexion was so pale it almost put L to shame and her normally perfectly set hair was falling apart. One of her buns hung halfway down the side of her head and the other was more oblong than round. An uncontrollable urge began to push its way through Usagi's body. A very long and loud yawn made its way out of her small mouth. Try as she might to muffle it with her hand, she failed miserably. All eyes were, once again, trained on her.

She ignored the stares but not the obvious need that her body craved, sleep. "I need my bed!" The statement was made with an air of finality that left no room for argument…unless you were Ryuuzaki.

"I will have Watari bring up a pillow and blanket-"

"NO!" Serena slammed her hands down on the desk and turned her chair to face L. Reaching forward, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and jerked his body and chair towards her. His rolling chair bumped into hers but she ignored it, "I repeat: I. Need. My. Bed!"

"Ryuuzaki, maybe we should let her rest. She does look to be rather-um-haggard," Light tried to think of a less insulting word to use but came up blank. Usagi, for the most part, ignored his comment for the moment.

"Ryuuzaki, unlike you, I have to have a certain amount of _restful_ sleep in order for my body to function normally. I am _not_ and insomniac genius detective with posture problems…" L and the rest of the taskforce listened as she continued to explain how she needed more rest than he did in a very biting tone. "My crystal zaps a lot of my energy reserves and strength. If I don't get a good night's sleep my body will completely shut down, understood?!"

L did not budge an inch, he only blinked at her with wide and seemingly empty eyes, "I will also have him bring up some sleeping pills." L then turned around and continued to sort through the evidence that was piled in front of him. He failed to notice Usagi bringing up a hand to knock him in the back of the head, but he did feel it.

"Listen here, buddy! If you hadn't of put me in these-" Usagi held up her wrists, pointing to both and indicating to the chains, "-then we would _not_ be in this mess. You started this and in doing so you took away some of my privileges as well as your own. All three of us have to sacrifice in order to make this work. By God, L, you're going to sacrifice tonight. I need my bed and I need it now," Usagi growled out under her breath. During her rant, she stood and grabbed the files L had been trying to go through. Walking towards the couch and coffee table, she dropped them in front of Aizawa.

"Aizawa is just as capable of going through them as you are," Usagi stood with her legs locked and arms crossed in front of her chest. With a quick nod of her head and a humph of determination, she waited to hear what he had to say.

"You just stated that we, and by we you must mean all of us, need our rest; however, you place the brunt of the work for Aizawa to do when I am more than capable and used to staying up late-" L was once again interrupted by the blonde-ticking-time-bomb.

"Listen, and listen carefully," Usagi poked his chest with her index finger with each word she spoke, "Aizawa usually goes home to rest and spend time with his family. You, however, do nothing but sit around, work, and eat sweets all day. Unlike some people-" Usagi motioned with her hand to herself and the other members of the taskforce, "-we require sleep. I haven't had a descent nights sleep since you chained me up! I'm going to get one tonight, understood?!" She gave his chest one final hard jab; however, it ended up hurting her finger worse than it did his. She whimpered and softly sucked on the tip, as if it would suck the pain out of it.

L shook his head and reached to grab the evidence, but Usagi surprised them all by transforming into her Eternal Sailor Moon transformation. In a swirl of bright lights, feathers, and ribbons, Eternal Sailor Moon stood before them. Everyone, save for L and Light, had a furious blush covering their face and they were fighting hard against a nosebleed. Matsuda, however, finally lost consciousness. Thankfully, Light had saw her reach for her broach and had turned his eyes away at the last second before she transformed. L had not. He openly stared as she transformed and had the audacity to send her that same leering smile of his. Usagi became livid. Reaching up to her forehead, she called upon her tiara and sent it flying towards L. The glowing disk stopped above his head and opened into a ring. At her command, it floated half-way down L's body before constricting and making his arms press into his sides. Usagi had 'lassoed' L and left him unable to gather back up the evidence.

With a hard tug of the chain connecting her to him, L fell hard on his ass. Without the use of his arms, L was stuck on the floor while Usagi dragged him off to the elevator. L looked up to notice Light failing miserably to hide his smile. L added that as another reason why he suspected Light as Kira. No, it wasn't fair, but neither was the position L found himself in. Usagi, still transformed, dragged him into the elevator. After a wave and quick goodnight exchanges with the taskforce, she hit the button for her floor. A soft instrumental melody filled the elevator while all three waited for it to arrive on Usagi's flat. When it did, a chime sounded before the doors opened. Usagi made a dash towards her room, dragging a still restrained L and pulling a stumbling Light along with her.

As she reached the bedroom door, her eyes regained some of their brightness. She quickly opened the door and cried out in delight at the size of her large bed with down pillows and comforters. Heaven. Pure heaven. Usagi made a mad dash towards the bed. She landed on it rather hard and ended up bouncing quite a few times. Giggles escaped her as she fell back with a plunk.

"Oh, how I have missed you bed," she cooed to the inanimate object, treating it like one would treat an animal, baby talking it. Light and L exchanged worried looks. It was moments like these that they questioned her sanity. How could she go from raging to giddy in just a few minutes?

Usagi sighed lightly before pushing herself back up and letting her hair down. She combed it with her fingers while regarding the two detectives in front of her, "Okay, L, you can take these off now." She offered her wrists towards the detective but he only sent her a glare.

"Oh," she giggled, "that's right, I need to let you loose." Usagi let out a loud and hearty laugh before de-transforming, making the tiara disappear in a swirl of sparkles and feathers. L was left lying sprawled out over the floor at the foot of her bed. Usagi smiled down at him and pushed her wrists towards him again. He, however, pushed them away.

"I'm sorry but these must stay on at all times," L reminded her as he pushed himself up into his standing position. Usagi pouted, not liking the thought at all. How was she supposed to change, let alone sleep with two very male men sharing her bed? The thought made her nervous but then her irritation returned when she remembered how annoying these chains had become. Who knew they would cause so much trouble?

"But.."

"Sacrifices, remember?"

Usagi sent L the angriest glare she could muster up; however, the pout and flush of her cheeks from embarrassment negated the effects the glare would normally have. L simply smiled down and patted her on the head, whispering "It'll be ok" to her. Usagi growled and kicked her foot out, hitting him in the shin. Sadly, she forgot that she had not had shoes on when she transformed. She ended up with a very sore toe!

"Ow, Ow, OW!"

"Usagi, I'm sure that if L and I both stay on one side of the bed and you in the middle, that you will barely even notice our presence," Light tried to calm the blonde down. He felt sorry for her predicament (1) but he understood L's reasons.

Once the throbbing ache in her toe had subsided, Usagi leaned back and thought on how to solve her dilemma. She obviously couldn't change in front of them but she couldn't sleep in her jeans and tight Tee! A few more seconds passed by before a thought struck her, one of pure genius. Reaching into her subspace pocket, she pulled out her Luna Pen and called upon its powers to change her into some cute PJs. Bright light engulfed both the pen and her body. When it faded, she was dressed in elegant, yet cute, silk pajamas. They were a light pearl pink with white trimming. Usagi gushed over the cute set but soon grew serious.

"Here are the ground rules! One, Ryuuzaki you stay on that side-" Usagi pointed one finger towards one side of the bed, "-Light you stay on that side-" she pointed to the other side for Light to use, "-and you _both_ keep your hands to yourself along with every _other_ part of your body. If you don't, you will be missing them in the morning." Usagi gave them an extra sweet smile as she said the last part. Both guys shared a nervous look and prayed that she was only joking. If only they knew. Women minus beauty rest equals death to all of man kind.

Usagi started to crawl towards the middle of the bed, sliding under the covers while Light unbuttoned his shirt and removed his shoes. L simply climbed in under the covers. Usagi sent them one last warning glare before resting her head on the soft and fluffy pillows. It only took a few seconds before soft snores started to emit from her. Light and L looked on in shock at how fast she had fallen asleep. She definitely wasn't lying when she said she needed it. Already she seemed to be healing from the past few stressful days.

L and Light had just began to relax when Usagi started to mumble in her sleep. They strained their hearing to pick up what it was she was saying while avoiding her tossing and turning form. They couldn't miss the sorrow filled cry for her deceased love. Her thrashing became stronger and they both moved to restrain her until her episode subsided. What they weren't expecting was for her to reach out and pull them to her, cuddling them and crying as she begged for Mamoru not to leave her. Try as they may to pull away, she held tight and only jerked them back to her.

They sat there, frozen in place and waiting for her to release them with bated breath. They both would swear later that it was so quiet as they waited that they could hear a pin drop. The quiet would not last for long because the sounds of fast approaching footsteps-rather loud ones-were coming closer. Both L and Light panicked and doubled their efforts to pull away without waking her. Unfortunately, her yank was harder then before and they ended up slamming their skulls together. They both cringed and fell over her stomach. They froze again and waited to see if she would awake, she only stirred slightly.

They pushed themselves up and gave out a sigh of relief. As soon as they did, however, the bedroom door slammed open and in front of it stood a very livid Misa Amane. Anger radiated off of her entire body. Screaming like a banshee with rabies, Misa lunged towards Usagi's sleeping form. The loud and ear splitting scream was enough to rouse Usagi. She bolted upright just as Misa was lunging towards her. Thankfully, Usagi's reflexes saved her. She immediately shot her fist out only to have it collide with Misa's nose. Light and L watched stunned as the half-asleep/half-awake Usagi punched Misa hard enough to send her toppling off the side of the bed. The other blonde fell off the bed and hard onto her head, successfully knocking her unconscious.

L and Light were too stunned to know what to do, so they watched to see what Usagi would do next. Surprisingly, she just mumbled under her breath and fell back to the pillows, continuing her snoozing but this time more peacefully. Seeing as they were, temporary, free from her grasp, Light and L scooted as far away from her as possible. They definitely did not want to end up like Misa.

Unfortunately for them, L's cell phone started to go off, ringing loudly and causing Usagi to stir once again. Light sent L a look as the other detective struggled to retrieve his cell phone. Flipping it open, L whispered a greeting, "What do you want Matsuda? ….No…. Not until the morning….not unless you wish to end up beside of Misa-"

L was cut off by Usagi kicking him off the bed in her sleep. He fell in a heap on the floor, pulling the covers and a disgruntled Usagi down on him. Light, however, managed to prevent himself from falling but half of his body hung over the edge of the bed.

"W-what happened?" Usagi moaned while sitting up, straddling L without realizing it. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and looked around. She noticed Light level with her eyes and knew that something was wrong. Looking down, she was met with a blushing (ever so faintly) and speechless L. It took her a second longer to realize the position she was in, and, when she did, she screamed bloody murder, "**PERVERTS!"**

Light quickly moved as far away from her as he could, letting her beat L with the closest thing she could grab, a pillow. Usagi continued to slap L over and over and over and…over….and ….ov..er….she finally drained herself of all her remaining energy and collapsed against his chest, drooling over his white shirt. L and Light stayed frozen, making sure she was asleep before moving her back onto the bed and readjusting the covers.

"What did Matsuda want?" Light whispered so low that it took all of L's concentration to hear him.

"Matsuda was doing what he does best, being an idiot," was flat answer L gave Light before he turned and tried to fall asleep. Light nodded and followed suit. Elsewhere, however, Matsuda sat with a phone in his hand. He stared with tears in his eyes and a slight twitch to the left one at what both detectives had to say, "I can hear you, ya know?"

The rest of the taskforce simply shook their heads and proceeded to sort through the evidence that Usagi had left them in charge of. The next morning Matsuda and Aizawa tiptoed into Usagi's bedroom and retrieved Misa. Besides a slight fracture, swelling, and some bruising, Misa was fine. The bump to her head had made her forget how she had even managed to get the painful fracture. Matsuda, unlike the rest, had quickly came up with a (lame) excuse. Misa was told that she had slipped on some water that someone had spilled in the Kitchen. She ended up falling and slamming face down into the hard stainless steel, thus, fracturing her nose.

Usagi, also, was unaware of how Misa had received the injury but she was told the same story. Unlike Misa, however, Usagi didn't really buy the excuse but was too busy (thanks to Light and L changing the subject) to really think on it. She had awoke in such a good mood that she had also failed to realize how Light and L had been hauled back over to her side of the bed in the middle of the night. She didn't fail to notice (much later) the matching bruises on their forehead.

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**Like I said, not my best and probably no one will like it; however, I assure you that next time will be better, much better!!!!!! If you have any theme ideas please submit them via review. I have made a list of 41 but I want to have at least 50. Usagi Uchiha has been kind enough to submit a few ideas and I can't wait to use them. Would anyone else like to see a funny scenario staring our two detectives and one blonde super heroine?**

**RxR…Please!**

**Sesshy!!!!**

**Next Time: Oh no, oh no, oh no! Usagi was positive something was amiss but what could it be? Relization dawned on her and panic soon settled in...**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter- Positive Reaction…**


	4. Positive Reaction

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Tug O War Princess

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary:** **What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.**

**Note: I'm glad some of you enjoyed chapter 3. I was considering discarding it completely; however, I promised you a Bed scene in Chapter 2, so I pulled through. I hope you find this chapter more to your liking. I'm hoping for this to become really popular, but I'm not going to get my hopes up yet.**

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Usagi sat quietly at her desk, staring blankly down at the evidence in front of her. She was _supposed_ to be highlighting key information, but, sadly, her mind was not on the task. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a little voice was nagging her, singing an annoying tune of how she forgot about something. The question was, what was that something. Usagi had been contemplating this for the past few hours. Every since she woke up this morning, her stomach was twisting and turning in a nervousness fit.

What could it be?

Usagi was beginning to grow annoyed at herself. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what could be causing the problem. Usagi began to fill the workings of a headache coming and she reached into her purse to pull out her Tylenol. Picking up the bottle, she began to unscrew the lid while thinking of how she only usually felt this awful around her ….

"SHIT!" Usagi exclaimed as she stood up from her seat. Her wide blue eyes were filled with a franticness that the taskforce had never seen coming from her. They all turned worried eyes towards her.

"What's wrong?" Light questioned her while gently standing and approaching her.

"Oh my God, what's the date?" She turned and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her eye level. He noticed how she had suddenly paled in a matter of moments.

"Um, the twenty-third-"

"NO! No, no, no, no, no, that can't be right!" Usagi pushed him away and lunged for her purse once again. She turned it over and shook it, dumping all its contents onto the desk. Dropping her purse to the ground, she used trembling hands to sort through all the items. If her hands picked up any item that they did not want, she tossed it over her shoulder, ignoring the cry of pain from Matsuda when her mascara hit him in the eye.

"Where is it?!" Usagi began to grow more frantic, until, finally, her small phone came into view. She quickly picked it up and went straight to the calendar. Dead silence was followed. Her feet gave out and she plopped back down into the chair. Light had been right, it was the 23rd of the month.

"Usagi is something wrong?" Matsuda questioned while handing her back her mascara and the various other items that he had been pummeled with unintentionally. Usagi paid him no mind at first but she eventually snapped out of her thoughts.

"I need to use the bathroom," Usagi exclaimed and then started off for the closest bathroom she could find. L had yet to stand up and ended up being rolled all the way there. He didn't seem to mind and just continued to look at the rather thick report in his hands. Light on the other hand, stumbled and almost tripped up but he managed to regain his balance.

Usagi cried out in relief upon seeing the bathroom. She even ignored the fact that the two detectives would be coming along with, "Keep your eyes closed, mouths shut, and ears covered….please." Usagi threw open the door and waited until they complied with her request. Light complied completely whereas L simply kept his back to her and continued to read. He did, however, stick his fingers in his ears and began to hum a soft tune.

Usagi pushed both men to the back of her mind and turned on the faucet to the sink to help muffle the sound of her tinkling. Pushing down her pants and panties, she plopped down. Usagi immediately examined her panties while she finished her duty. Nope. Not a speck of red. She internally cringed and what little hope she had was gone. After wiping, her fears were confirmed. Her period was late, unbelievably so this time. Thinking to herself as she flushed and washed her hands, she tried to remember when her last one had been. Usagi double checked herself five times before coming to accept that she was three weeks late on her period. Three weeks.

Instead of returning to the monitoring station as expected of her, Usagi turned the corner and headed towards her room. This brought L out of his musings. His eyes darted up towards her direction, "Where are you headed, Usagi?"

"I need to find a phonebook," Almost as if she had said the 'magic words', Watari appeared with both a phone book and a cordless phone in hand. He handed them to her and asked if she would need anything else.

"Just space," Usagi answered before her search took her to a small storage closet. She stepped in and then shut the door as best she could. It was still cracked due to the chains but it had to do, "I'll be out in a minute. She fell to the floor, sitting Indian style, and thought to herself. How could she have forgot it? Of course, she also thought to herself, with all the hustle of a third Kira on the surface, how could she not forget? Usagi took a few more moments to calmly and rationally accept that she was late and the possibilities of what that would mean.

"Usagi are you alright?" Light questioned with a light knock to the door. Usagi answered a feeble yes and stared at the phone book and phone. Thoughts of denial still raced through her head and she was _not _ready to make that phone call. What else could she do?

"I need to go to the store!" Usagi thought allowed to herself. Grabbing the two items Watari had given to her, she opened the door and repeated herself.

"Whatever you need is probably here," L stated without gracing her with a look. Usagi bit back the growl of irritation that was threatening to spill over. No wonder she had been so grumpy lately, her body was _possibly_ going through a change at the moment.

"I can assure you that you do not have what I need."

"What exactly is it that you need, Usagi?" L questioned her still without look up at her. Usagi's face flushed at this questioned and she struggled to answer it. Her blush deepened further when she noted the curious look Light was giving her.

"Just let me go to the damn store!" Usagi shrieked out finally, "Can't a girl have _some_ privacy around here?"

"No."

"L I swear-"

"Ryuuzaki, I'm sure we can spare a few minutes out of our day to allow her to go to the store," Light once again tried to be sound of reason between the two. Usagi smiled towards him in thanks but L shot him a look that was not in any way grateful.

"2 to 1, we're going," Usagi gave L one of her own looks before pushing him out of the chair and stalking off. L, however, managed to land on his feet without dropping a single piece of paper. Usagi ignored that fact and went to gather her purse and make sure she had enough money to make her purchase.

"We'll be back soon," she told the rest of the taskforce while evading and denying Misa's request to go with Light. When Misa kept begging Light to let her go, Usagi stopped and threatened to smack the dumb out of her.

"We're only going to the store; you can do without Light for fifteen minutes. You've done without him for the seventeen years you never even knew of him!" Misa was stunned at the tone of voice Usagi had used and did nothing but nod in acceptance. The three were out the door not a minute later.

It was a five minute walk to the nearest gas station and Usagi decided to just grab what she wanted there. L became even more curious as to what she would want from there but Usagi spit out the first thing that came to her mind, "Uh…um… Oh My God! It's Brad Pitt!" Usagi pointed her finger out the door and towards the street across from them. Both Light and L turned to look. Usagi, in the meantime, reached her arm around the aisle she was standing in front of to grab a random pregnancy test box. Stuffing it in her purse, she threw some yen at the cashier and motioned for his silence. The cashier nodded and rang up the test. Light and L turned their gaze back towards her.

"Brad Pitt?" They both asked simultaneously.

"Oh, that wasn't him? Well, I coulda sworn it was. Oh well, now for that chocolate bar," Usagi walked around and grabbed the first piece of chocolate she could find. Walking up towards the cash register, she paid for the chocolate and sent the cashier a pleading look. He kept quiet and rang it up while handing Usagi her change. Immediately she ripped open the wrapping and offered half to L before stuffing the rest in her mouth and walking out the front door.

The cashier stared at her retreating back, sweat dropping and saying allowed, "That was too weird."

Usagi, Light, and L made it back to the Kira Task Force Headquarters in no time flat. As soon as she made it back onto the right floor, she called for another bathroom emergency. L and Light shared curious looks once again but complied. Usagi had to force herself to pee this time. After opening the box and reading the instructions, she pee'd on the end. Now, she had to buy time to find out if it would be positive. Thankfully, she only needed to buy a minute worth. She stood, washed her hands (extra slow), and looked through the cabinet for some Tylenol. Her eyes glanced down to the pregnancy test and, to her horror, a giant "t" greeted her. She screamed and both detectives turned to face her. Their eyes dropped down to follow her vision and they both blushed.

"Uh…"

"No! Hush! I don't want to hear a word, it has to be wrong!" Usagi started to cry. How could she be pregnant when she didn't have Mamo-chan here with her? Usagi let her arms wrap around her stomach. Maybe it was wrong. The test isn't a 100% guaranteed.

Seventeen positive test results later…

"Yes, I need to make an appointment to have some blood work done and a full check up," Usagi spoke into the cordless phone. The voice on the other end questioned her on some basic information before stating that she had a cancelation for the next day at noon. Usagi quickly booked the appointment. Now all she had to do was to wait for noon the next day to come. She was happy to know she would still have Chibi-Usa but heartbroken to know she would never know her father. Usagi didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day and night.

The next day was a rush for Usagi. She hurried to get showered, dressed, and ready. Thankfully, Ryuuzaki was in full compliance mode today and did everything he could not to stress her out. Finally, twelve was drawing closer. At eleven thirty, Watari drove her, Light, and L to the Gynecologist's office and dropped them off. L promised to call for him to pick them up once things were finished here.

Usagi gulped as she stared at the building in front of her. An ominous feeling of foreboding began to settle around her as she made her way in the doors and into the check in area. The secretary gave her a odd look before handing over the files that needed to be filled out. L took charge and explained the situation. Needless to say, no files had to be filled out, no insurance needed to be seen, and they didn't have to wait. Usagi was allowed into the back where she was weighed, measured, had her blood pressure checked, and was asked for a short medical history.

After finishing answering all the questions and getting three tubes of blood drawn, Usagi was escorted to a small but quaint examining room. She sat on the makeshift bed while Light and L took a seat near her. A nurse came in shortly after and requested that Usagi strip down and put on the hospital gown. Light and L stood behind a closed curtain and waited for Usagi to give them the ok.

When she did, she was dressed in the plain hospital garb. The nurse came back to check if she had changed before going to fetch the doctor. Usagi sat on the side of her bed, letting her feet dangle and kick back and forth. Both L and Light were quiet as they examined the room. Pictures of women's organs and labels of the names were plastered over the door. Around the room were several posters and ads for different medications. They did whatever they could to _not_ look at Usagi. This was just as uncomfortable for them as it was for her.

A knock came to the door. Usagi called out for whoever it was to enter and they complied. An older lady with a kind face entered the room with a few pieces of paper in hand. A nurse followed behind her. Both ladies eyed the two men and one woman carefully.

"Well, according to the blood work, your hormone levels are rather high, indicating pregnancy," the Doctor got straight to the point. She glanced up to see her patient had paled and was slightly trembling, "however, due to the conditions in which we have been informed, it is safe to say that there is still a chance of this being a false pregnancy. Just in case, we will need to know which of you is the father?" The doctor turned her now hawk-like eyes on Light and L.

Usagi turned beat red and promptly proceeded to pass out while both L and Light turned a similar shade.

"Oh my goodness," the nurse squeeked while running over to see to Mrs. Chiba. The doctor threw a concerned gaze in her patients direction before returning it to the two people left conscious, "Well?"

"Neither of us could be the father," L supplied rather bluntly. The doctor raised a brow before her eyes drifted down towards the chains and then to the patient.

"What Ryuuzaki means to say is that neither of us is or could be the father. If Usagi is pregnant, the father would be deceased. As for the chains, this has been done to make sure Usagi is not attacked like her husband was," Light supplied the information to the doctor.

"Is that really necessary? To be chained up?"

"Yes, a twenty-four hour watch is needed to make certain she is never left alone," Light assured her.

"Twenty-four hours?!" the doctor screamed while threatening to throw a clipboard at the two.

"Would you rather she die?" L questioned the doctor matter-o-factly.

This seemed to calm the doctor down and she apologized for her scream moments before. Usagi began to awaken to the nurse's calls and sat back up, "What happened?"

"Nothing, Mrs. Chiba, we were just about to start your Pap smear examination," the doctor changed the subject and motioned for Usagi to get into position. The still dazed Usagi did as she was asked but threw a nervous glance at the two guys in the room.

"I must insist that you gentlemen temporarily remove the bindings as to allow Mrs. Chiba some dignity while we perform the test," the Doctor pushed a warning tone through to her voice. L, however, shook his head and simply turned to face the other way. Light mumbled his apologies and did the same. The doctor only stared at their heads before sighing and taking the samples. Next, she felt around Usagi's stomach and then proceeded to give her a breast exam. Satisfied with the results so far, she called for an ultrasound technician to come in and perform an ultrasound on Usagi's lower abdomen. It took only a minute for one to come.

Usagi's gown was lifted and a towel placed over her privates while the ultrasound tech prepared the machine. L and Light were allowed to turn and watch the test being performed under the careful eye of the doctor and nurse. Warm gooey gel was applied to Usagi's stomach followed by the probe being pushed into her skin. Immediately after it touched her and the gel, a black and white video of sorts appeared. Usagi, L, Light, and the doctors watched carefully as the ultrasound technician maneuvered the probe and took the appropriate measurements and pictures needed for the radiologists to view.

"Stop," the doctor said while moving closer to the screen, "Mrs. Chiba, you see that?"

"Yes?" Usagi was sure her heart stopped beating when the doctor called for the ultrasound lady to stop her movements and to zoom in on one specific area.

"That, Mrs. Chiba, is the reason for your period being late," the doctor smiled and pointed specifically to a bright white object.

"What is it?" Usagi questioned.

"An Ovarian Cyst," the doctor supplied, "A rather large one at that." Usagi let out a relieved sigh. She wasn't pregnant. She wouldn't have to raise a child alone. She wouldn't have to worry about it being in danger while she was on the taskforce. Usagi was slightly saddened to know that she was never going to see Chibi-Usa again, but, as Setsuna had said, Chibi-Usa would be born. The child wouldn't look the same but she would exist.

"Why would my hormone levels be high though?" Usagi questioned.

"Well, like I said, given your circumstances, it is of no surprise that your brain is secreting more amounts of them then usual. Stress, worry, environmental changes-all of these can be a factor to this change. Your cyst is also a factor as well. It caused your periods to cease and the hormones just kept building up. I'm surprised you didn't feel any pain or discomfort."

"I have a high tolerance for pain you could say," Usagi giggled nervously as she recalled all the beatings she took in the past as a Sailor Scout.

"I see. Well, other than the cyst, you are in complete health. We will be mailing you the result of your pap smear within the next two weeks," the doctor smiled and shook her hand. When she went to shake the hands of the other two men, she whispered low enough so only they could hear, "The stress can grow to be too much for her in her emotional state. I suggest you make things as easy for her as possible, or, regardless to the reasons, I will see to it that you do!"

Things seemed to go smooth after the doctor left and Usagi found herself back at HQ reciting everything that had happened.

"Brad Pitt?" Aizawa questioned her.

"I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head!" Usagi whined. For the next week, everyone in the task force continued to pick on her, L especially.

"Usagi-san, look there!" This was the tenth time L had pulled the trick but Usagi always fell for it. She turned her head and searched around for whatever it was that he was pointing at, "Oh, you missed him."

"Ryuuzaki…." A loud thunk was heard as L hit the floor.

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**Shoo, done! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. My fingers are killing me now that I have typed 8 pages and over 3k words! **

**RxR**

**Don't forget to tell me what crazy situation you think these three should end up in!!!**

**Much love,**

**Sesshy**

**PS: Thank you to my reviewers, I love you all! *hugs* Also, I'm not sure how they tell by the blood work if you are pregnant or not or if it is 100% guarnteed. I have never been in the situation, thank God. ... Yet.... Anywho, please excuse that part and just go along with it if it was not medically correct. K? I tried my best!!!! **

**Next Time: Usagi is bored and decides to listen to her ipod. While she does, she begins to wonder what song would fit each member of the taskforce.....it's IPOD THEMESONG TIME!!!!**


	5. iPod Task Force Theme songs

**Tug O War Princess**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary:** **What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.**

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Usagi sat between L and Light with her pearl pink iPod's ear pieces fitted snugly into her ears. She hummed along with the song with her eyes closed, trying to drown out the sound of Light and L's arguing. Her iPod sat snug in her breast pocket of her shirt so her hands were free to flail about in rhythm to the exaggerated arm movements of the two detectives she was chained to.

Usagi let one eye open to gaze at the havoc going on around her. Light and L were once again in each other's faces. By the way their mouths opened so wide, Usagi figured it was safe to say that there was a bunch of yelling going on. Definitely. She merely sighed and turned up the volume on her iPod.

Suddenly, a song that Usagi definitely did _not_ remember putting on her iPod popped up and started playing - My Dick by Mickey Avalon. Usagi "eeped" in shock and her face turned blood red. Pulling out her iPod and looking at the album picture, instead, she found a picture of Minako holding a sign that said: "Priceless". No wonder the song sounded so familiar. Minako had played that non stop when she first heard it and laughed her butt off the entire time. Usagi would never forget the look on Motoki's face when she let him hear it. He had promptly scolded the slightly taller blonde and covered Usagi's ears as he, as Usagi would later find out, cursed up a storm. Motoki cursing, wow, what was the world coming to?

"Minako…" Usagi's left eye began to twitch and she had to watch herself so as to not crush her iPod in her hands. She was just about to hit for the next song when her eyes lifted up and noticed that Light's mouth as well as L's were moving in sync with the song lyrics. Now and then they wouldn't but, for the most part, it appeared as if the song was coming from _their_ mouth!

Usagi busted out laughing so hard that she fell out of her chair and into a heap on the floor. Oh my _goodness!_ Usagi couldn't hold back the laughter that rippled through her body. Tears began to leak from her eyes and they only doubled when she noticed that the two detectives, along with the rest of the taskforce, were looking at her with concerned looks. Usagi tried to stop laughing but it was too hard. Really, everything was beginning to make sense. Light and L were always at each others throat and not just over Kira being Light. Light's masculinity and ego was being attacked by L and vice versa when Light would deny and prove L wrong. Slowly, over time, this had turned from simply trying to find Kira to proving to the other that they were wrong and the other person was better!

Usagi ignored the looks she was receiving and simply waved them off. Oh boy! She hadn't laughed that hard in a very, very long time. Reaching behind her to the desk, she pulled off her 'doodle' book. It was a book of doodles and notes she had started right after being shackled up to the two. Whenever she found herself annoyed, she would simply doodle or write in the book to calm her nerves. Flipping to a blank page, Usagi used a pen to write "Task force iPod Theme songs" over the top of the page. On the first line, she wrote "My Dick-Light VS L". Maybe she wouldn't have to kill Minako after all….

Usagi laid her iPod on the table and started to hit the next button, searching through her playlist for a song that would fit solely for either L or Light. It took quite a bit of hunting; however, Usagi was happy to find a song that was _perfect_ for L.

_"I am the candy man…coming from bounty land…_

_I am the candy man…coming from bounty land…_

_I wish that you were my lollipop_

_Sweet things I will never get enough_

_If you show me to the sugar tree_

_Will you give me a soda pop for free?_

_Come with me honey, I am your sweet sugar candy man…_

_Run like the wind; fly with me to bounty land…_

_Bite me I'm yours, if your hungry please understand…_

_This is the end of the sweet sugar candy man…_

_Oh my love, I know you are my candy man_

_And Oh my love, your word is my command_

_Oh my love, I know you are my candy man_

_And Oh my love let us drive to bounty land…_

_…"_

Usagi giggled and wrote the name of the song with L's name beside of it on the second line:

Lollipop (Candy Man)-Aqua

Everything around Usagi began to fade out of existence as she continued her hunt for theme songs. Her small finger continued to push the "next" button in search for another song that would 'scream' the name of another taskforce member. Light was going to be the last of her choices to pick from, he was just too complex to limit to just one song. Well, L was in the same boat but, still, she'd leave Light for last.

Usagi came to another song, "Ice Cream and Cake". It wasn't exactly the beat that she would picture for L but the lyrics were priceless. She added it below L's other theme song, Lollipop. Oh the hilarity! If only catching Kira was this fun! Hm, what would Kira's song be? Another tough subject to find for. Oh well, when it comes it'll come.

Usagi pushed the button for the next song once again. This time the song "Gives You Hell" by the All American Rejects popped up. Her eyes widened and a large grin with a strange similarity to L's popped up. She quickly jotted down the name of the song and scribbled Light's next to it while listening to the lyrics:

_"I wake up every evenin' _

_With a big smile on my face_

_And it never feels out of place_

_And you're still probably workin' at a 9-5 pace_

_I wonder how bad that tastes…_

_When you see my face I hope it gives you hell…_

_Gives you hell_

_When you walk my way, I hope it gives you hell…_

_Gives you hell_

_Now where's your picked fence love?_

_And where's that shinny car?_

_And did it ever get you far?_

_You never seemed so tense love…_

_Never seen you fall so hard…_

_Do you know where you are?_

_And truth be told I miss you…_

_And truth be told I'm lyin…_

_When you see my face I hope it gives you hell…_

_Gives you hell_

_When you walk my way, I hope it gives you hell…_

_Gives you hell…_

_…"_

Usagi thought that the song rang true, especially the lyrics. Whenever Light made it a point to push a subject, L would get really mad and all bent out of shape. True, it wasn't as bad now, but it still rang true.

"I hope that it will give you hell….." Usagi sang lightly under her breath as the song finished. She closed her eyes and could almost picture Light screaming that to L the next time L pulled a stunt that overly pissed Light off. More giggles escaped her but it stopped when she found another song to fit a (somewhat) task force member, Misa Amane.

Superstar – Toybox

The song rang loud and clear through Usagi's ears and she couldn't hold back the nervous chuckle and sweat drop. Truly, that song did represent Misa quite well. It seemed the only person, besides herself and Light, which she cared about was Kira. Usagi found it quite strange how she obsessed over the two men. No wonder L still thought Light to be Kira…

_"I am a super star with a big, big house and a big, big car…_

_I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!_

_I am a super star with a big, big house and a big, big car…_

_I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!_

_Get any money, honey? I'm a super star! _

_My life is funny, honey, have you seen my car?_

_I know a lot of people… I'm a super star!_

_Everybody knows me, Right from near!_

_I've got a plane…I've got a plane…_

_I love the fame…I love the fame…_

_You know my name…You know my name…_

_And I just want you to know…_

_I am a super star with a big, big house and a big, big car…_

_I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!_

_I am a super star with a big, big house and a big, big car…_

_I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!_

_…"_

Usagi slapped her head down into her hands to hide the wide smile and try to muffle the snickers escaping her. It was bad enough as it was with the task force giving her the eye already. The last of her needs was to have Misa kill her for busting out laughing at the lyrics to the song that described her so well, _"I've got fortune. I've got fame., love it when you say my name! Love to party. I am naughty. Prettier then everybody!"_

Usagi sat herself back up straight and leaned backwards into her chair. Her head tilted back to stare up at the ceiling and she tried to find a song to fit any of the other task members. It was quite hard considering that she never had time to bond with them like she had L and Light. Of course, if bonding meant being chained to them for God knows how long, well, she could pass on that offer.

Not surprisingly, another good theme song for L popped up, "I want Candy" by … Well, Usagi wasn't entirely sure. Looking towards her iPod once again, she was reminded that Aaron Carter had made the song. Man, what an old song! Usagi paused her iPod for a moment and reached into her purse for a Hershey Kiss. Hiding it in her hand, she called out to L. Him and Light were still in an argument and refused to look away from one another but he did seem to listen to her.

"Yes, Usagi?" L questioned here while still glaring daggers at the ever adamant Light Yagami. Light returned the glare full fold and tried not to finish his biting retort until Usagi said what she had to say.

"Do you want candy?" Usagi asked innocently while holding out her hand palm up where a daintily wrapped Hershey Kiss sat in the middle of it. L blinked his eyes towards her before zeroing in on the sweet treat sitting in her palm. He reached over and plucked it from her hand, holding it by the thin paper sticking up from the wrapping. Using his other hand, he un-wrapped it and then popped the chocolate into his mouth, finishing it off quickly and then going back to arguing with Light.

Usagi giggled and scribbled down L's name next to "I want Candy" as well.

A deeper and darker song started to flood Usagi's mind when "Your Going Down" by Sick Puppies started up. For some reason, the darkness of the song had always called to her, reminding her of how consumed she felt when fighting Chaos; however, the same did not apply now for this particular song. The beat reminded her of a fast pace war beat that would be played while soldiers marched into battle. Her eyes once again locked with the two disputing detectives, a perfect representation. But which did it fit best to?

_"Define your meaning of war,_

_To me it's what we do when we're bored,_

_I feel the heat coming off of the black top,_

_And it makes me want it more…_

_Because I'm hyped up and outta control,_

_If it's a fight then I'm ready to go,_

_I wouldn't put my money on the other guy,_

_If you know what I already know…_

_It's been a long time coming…_

_And the tables' turned around…_

_Cause one of us is goin'…_

_One of us is goin' down…_

_I'm not runnin'…_

_It's a little different now…_

_Cause one of us is goin'…_

_ONE OF US IS GOIN' DOWN!!!!_

_…"_

Usagi let her mind wonder to when she first started to join the task force. At the time, Light Yagami had set her on edge. Her senses and minor defenses had shot up in warning. Something about him just seemed off compared to the others. Unlike Misa, who had a tainted aura, he failed to hide his as well as she did. His eyes, unlike hers, did not shine with joy, they were narrowed in mistrust, deception, and hate. Those eyes reminded her so much of those of her loved ones when they were corrupted and controlled by Chaos. When she had voiced her concerns to Mamoru, he had told her to be careful but he still seemed confused. Was she the only one to notice how his eyes did not reflect anything but emptiness at times? Apparently not, she would later learn while watching how Light and L interacted with one another.

Usagi jotted down Light's name next to the song title. Yes, it definitely fit him more so than L. Of course, L had his own times but…he never ever looked nearly as threatening as Light did then. Now, however, Light had a shine to his eyes. Maybe that was why she was finally able to open and be his friend. He no longer reminded her of the heartache she had suffered at having to fight her friends at the last battle.

Usagi grew tired of such a dark and depressing song and searched for something else. It didn't take her long to find what she wanted:

_"Ready, ready set go…_

_Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,_

_Come on, come on, come on, come on,_

_Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,_

_Come on, come on, come on, come on…_

_If I were a dentist I would take the opportunity to look in your mouth…_

_Maybe if I did then I would better understand just what you're talking about…_

_And if my X-ray vision gave the proper information I'd be back at the start…_

_'Cause every time I try to talk to you my words keep falling apart…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_When they're as pretty as you!_

_If I were a surgeon I'd do an operation to examine your heart,_

_I'd check to see if you and me could really ever move beyond the very start, _

_And if my diagnosis turned out positive I'd still be only dreaming of you,_

_'Cause approaching you is something that I know I'd never have the guts to do…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_Pretty girls make me nervous…_

_When they're as pretty as you!_

_…"_

Usagi remembered how amazed and awe inspired Matsuda had been when she first transformed. She could practically see the hearts in his eyes when he realized that she was his favorite super heroine, Sailor Moon! When he found out he didn't have a chance because of Mamoru, he had moved to his second favorite idol, Misa Amana aka Misa-Misa.

Now Usagi was left with Chief Yagami, Aizawa, Ide, Ukita, and Mogi. Other than Chief Yagami, she didn't really speak with the others that much other than Aizawa's few and sparse remarks on her thoughts of Kira situations. Unfortunately, he had walked out on the task force once the police refused to have anything to do with hunting down Kira. Usagi felt sorry for the man and hoped beyond hope that he and his family would be okay.

Usagi shook off her thoughts and hunted through more of her iPod's songs to hunt for something for the other and, in her opinion, last key task force member, Chief Yagami. He was like a second father to her and he always made sure to be there if she needed someone to talk to other than his son and L.

Usagi ended up going through almost every song on her iPod. She disregarded any other songs that might fit L, Light, Misa, and/or Matsuda. Her main focus was Chief Yagami and she was going to find the song for him! Finally, she came to the very last song on her playlist, "Damned if I Do, Damned if I don't!" – All Time Low.

_"I fought it for a long time now,_

_While drowning in a river of denial…_

_I washed up, fixed up, picked up,_

_All the broken things…_

_'Cause you left me police scene, chalk line,_

_ Tequila shots in the dark scene of the crime…_

_Suburban living with a feeling that I'm giving up_

_Everything for you!!!!!!_

_…"_

Usagi remembered how broken hearted the man seemed when he realized just how truly L seemed to think of his son as the killer Kira. Her heart went out to him fully. Hopefully, Kira would be caught and everyone could rest without worry. Maybe L would be wrong, but Usagi doubted it. By looking at his past cases, L was _never_ wrong…

"What are you doing, Usagi?" Matsuda walked over and began to read what all Usagi had been scribbling. When he noticed the title of the page, his eyes widened and a broad grin spread over his face, "Cool!"

"Matsuda?" Usagi blinked at his sudden appearance and tried to hide her notebook from him. Before she got the chance to stuff it under her butt and sit on it until everyone forgot it, a pale hand came into view and snatched it up. Usagi turned to find L holding the corner of her notebook between his index finger and thumb. His head was tilted to the side, staring and obviously reading what all was written. Usagi blushed and pushed her iPod into her pants pocket, safely hidden away.

"….My…Dick…?" L seemed to test the phrase on his tongue before turning his dark eyes on Usagi who had turned a shade redder than a ripe tomato.

"It's a song title…" Usagi looked for an escape route but she then remembered her shackled issue…GAH!

"If you wanted to see it so bad, Usagi.."

"NO!" Usagi screamed loudly and began to panic. She tried to bolt but L grabbed her with his free hand and brought her back up against his chest. He held the notebook so both he and she could see and read it.

Usagi tried to wiggle free but L would have none of it and he held tight to her while reading off the song titles along with the names. Light had moved to stand behind L, looking over his shoulder and blushing at the song that he had been forced to share with L.

"Usagi-chan, what is the meaning of this?" Light questioned the girl in L's arm. Usagi looked up and back over L's shoulder. Her face was still bright red and she looked like she was on the verge of passing out. Really, how could any human survive with that much blood rushing through the brain? Light watched as she shook her head in denial. When she tried to open her mouth and explain, L interrupted her yet again.

"Who knew you were so perversely creative? Our poor little bunny rabbit has been corrupted this whole time while we were fooled into believing her to be an innocent," L smirked down at the poor girl who was now red from her head to her toes. He found the situation quite funny. It never did cease to amaze him how easily she got riled up or embarrassed.

Leaning his head down, L whispered into her ear, "Is the bunny rabbit really all that curious as to …" Light couldn't hear anymore what it was that L was whispering to her; however, each and every one in the room could tell that, whatever it was, it was having a major effect on poor Usagi. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she proceeded to pass out on the spot. L tightened his grip around her so she wouldn't slip down his body. He tucked the notebook into his arm that was around her and let his now free hand pull her iPod from her pocket.

"What are you doing?" Light eyed him questioningly. L walked over to a seat, sitting normally for once and to everyone's surprise. He let Usagi sit in his lap, leaning against his chest while she snoozed. Meanwhile, his hands worked quickly to hook the iPod up to his laptop, fixing it so the songs he wished to hear would play.

Needless to say, the task force was too scared to listen past the first song, My Dick. However, curiosity got the better of them and they all listened to hear what song Usagi had picked for them. There were some really confused (Chief Yagami), angry (Misa), and just stunned (L, Light, and the remaining task members) people. They all looked towards where Usagi sat in L's lap, unconscious and still as red as when she first passed out.

She would certainly have quite a few questions to answer when she woke up…

* * *

**I want to defend myself here! The only reason I know of the song, My Dick, is because I was browsing 'Top 100' songs of various genres. This was in one of the top 100's. For some reason, it was just screaming out L and Light. I mean, come on, we all know they hate each other for more than just Kira. They're ego's are being affected and nothing hurts the ego of a man then when you insult his masculinity. I warn you, that song is for mature a audience which is why I did not post the lyrics. If you want to go and look it up, feel free but don't blame me, I warned you!**

**Thank you to my reviewers, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

**Sesshy**

**Next Time…Not sure, I'm debating on what theme to use….**

**How bout this, you all decide which I do! Pick only one of the theme ideas I list!!!**

"**Laundry Day"**

"**Ping Pong Panic"**

"**Spam Attack"**

**So, YOU, the readers, get to pick which theme you want to see next. Simply leave your vote in a review, k? :) **


	6. Laundry Day

**Tug O War Princess**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary:** **What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**Special thanks to all of my reviewers! I have left personal reply messages to you at the end of this chapter. Thanks for taking the time out to review my story. It means a lot to know that you all appreciate my hard work and dedication!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.**

**

* * *

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"Watari, would you bring in the files on prisoner number 562?" L questioned his laptop while he licked at a vanilla ice cream cone. Usagi rolled her eyes, wondering if L did anything for himself. How was he supposed to take care of himself when Watari passed away?

It only took a couple minutes for Watari to appear. Immediately, everyone except for L could tell that something just wasn't right. The poor man was much paler than usual. His neatly combed hair had wisps slipping around his aged face. His suit which was usually pressed to perfection was spotting several wrinkles and stains. The poor man looked like he had gone through hell compared to his usual appearance.

Usagi, being the most compassionate of the task force, jumped and rushed over to the elderly man, taking the pile of papers and folders that L had requested. L, in the meantime, was pulled behind Usagi along with Light. They had both gotten used to being pulled or tugged suddenly while chained to her. Usagi was, after all, known to have her spastic moments. Unlike Misa's moment's, Usagi's were found to be quite humorous and helped lift the mood of the task force.

Usagi unceremoniously dumped the files and papers onto L, ignoring the fact that they fell on his head and knocked off his ice cream. L, however, was livid – er as livid as an emotional detective could become. He stared at the mess around him and then to the quickly melting ice cream on the floor.

"Watari, clean this up immediately," L ordered while tugging Usagi's chain away from the man. Usagi didn't budge but she turned to face the still sitting L.

"Ryuuzaki are you blind or just a completely idiotic fool?!" She began to fall into full lecture mode. L sent her a glare when she made to comment on his intelligence. The only reason he kept his mouth shut was to prevent any bodily harm to himself.

"Can't you tell that you have worked this poor man until he can barely even stay awake? He is obviously sick and you seem to pay no mind to the fact," Usagi placed both hands on her hips and turned into 'Over-protective-woman-level 3: Cooperate-or-die'.

"I am fine, Mrs. Chiba, I assure you," Watari placed a calming hand on the blonde woman's shoulder, trying to help ease her worries.

"No, no you are not. I will see to it that you rest up and not worry about a thing until you are well. If L needs anything, I will make sure that he will be able to survive without your assistance," Usagi smiled and gently hugged the older man. While hugging him, she motioned for Matsuda to come forward.

"Please take Watari to my room and see that he stays in bed and rests until he is better," Usagi ordered the young detective. He gulped and nodded his head, not wanting her wrath to be turned onto him. Matsuda, unlike L, knew when and when not to push her buttons.

"Since you have sent Watari away, I suggest you start cleaning up this mess," L stated while giving her directions to the closest supply closet. Usagi merely stood there with a brow raised in question at him.

"Tell me, Ryuuzaki, from the looks of it, you make poor Watari do everything for you, does that include jerking you off? Oh, wait, from the looks of it you probably haven't got anything to be jerked since you can't be a man and do _some_ things for yourself!" Several gasps and the sound of breaking china were heard. After a few seconds, Usagi began to realize exactly what she had said and blushed furiously.

"My, my, my, bunny are you not the ever perverse one lately?" L stood from his chair, avoiding the papers on the floor and the melted pool of ice cream. He stood close to her, so close, Usagi had to take a step back so as to not have his body bump into hers and knock her off her feet. Even at his slouched stance, he towered over her short frame, making her feel smaller than usual. Still, she stood strong and stayed by what she said. Usagi just made a note to herself not to let some of her Scout's traits to rub off on her anymore- especially Haruka!

"She is telling the truth, Ryuuzaki. You work Watari too hard some days. He deserves a break," Light stood next to Usagi, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder and squeezing it to let her know he was with her 100%. L barely paid any attention to Light, just the hand he had on Usagi.

"Fine, Usagi you can take his place until he is better," L waved off what Light had said and pointed to the floor, "You can start by cleaning up this mess."

"You need to learn to do things for yourself, Ryuuzaki," Usagi growled out, resisting the urge to kick him in the shin. Why couldn't he just cooperate once in a while?

"Exhausting my efforts on meaningless chores will take away my full deductive reasoning when dealing with catching Kira by forty-five percent," L shrugged off her comment and looked at her expectantly.

"Ryuuzaki…." Usagi was just about to lose her temper completely.

"Ah, ah, ah…Sacrifices Bunny Rabbit, sacrifices," he patted her head then went to sit back in his seat once more, watching and waiting for Usagi to clean up the mess. Light started to reach down and clean it up to end the stare down but Usagi stopped him.

"No, it's ok, he'll get his in the end," Usagi stated while bending down to pick up the mess. Matsuda had been kind enough to fetch some paper towels, and Usagi was quick to wipe up the mess.

The next few days for Usagi were definitely _not_ pleasant. Poor Watari had worked himself into extreme exhaustion and his body had shut down almost completely. Thankfully, Matsuda volunteered to look after him so Usagi would not have to worry over his health.

Though Usagi had a full load of chores to complete every day, she did manage to get out of a few. Cooking and Washing the dishes were the two most hated chores she managed to get out of. L's eating habits had been quite the contradiction to the others. After the first fifteen minutes, Usagi just threw random things together to cook. Needless to say, the taskforce was so scared that they tried them in fear of Usagi's anger should they turn it down. _All_ of the bathroom facilities inside of Head Quarters were used that day.

"I guess you will just have to order out every meal because I can't clean up after everything!" Usagi had stated while smirking in a overly sadistic way when she watched L heave into the toilet. Unlike the rest of the taskforce, he had _not_ received Pepto Bismal for his stomach. Usagi had made sure they were out after all the others received their dosage. No one questioned the maniacal laughter that could be heard after Usagi had walked into the bathroom, flushed the toilet, and walked out with a _very_ empty bottle of Pepto Bismal.

One chore that Usagi failed to get out of, however, was laundry. She had been pushing and pushing it off further and further. Unfortunately, the laundry room was quickly filling with dirty clothes from L, Light, and Misa. The rest of the taskforce had been kind enough to take their laundry home for their wives (or, in Matsuda's case, mother), to wash.

Usagi stood standing in front of the washer with a dismal look on her face. Towards her left stood a pile of L's clothes, to the right, Misa's, and behind her, Light's clothes. In front of her, Usagi stared at several industrial sized washers.

"Usagi-san, I must insist that you hurry up in there," L called from outside the door. Usagi turned and walked towards it, opening it and stepping out. Using a finger, she pulled down the hospital mask she wore to walk into the Laundry room. She gasped for fresh air before turning to the dark haired detective. Some days she wondered if he was dropped on his head as a kid.

"Usagi-san, you're making that face again," Light stated. Usagi pretended to play dumb and just widened her smile towards L.

"I see fit to remind you that your actions are being monitored and anything done to my being in any violent matter will be kept on record. You could easily be put back on the map as a suspect to helping Kira by doing me harm and, thus, hindering the investigation," L droned on and on and Usagi had to use every bit of self control not to smack him upside the back of the head, again…

"I would never do that, Ryuuzaki! What makes you think I would?" Usagi sent her most innocent smile and then turned back towards the Laundry room. She slammed the door shut as hard as she could behind her. It wasn't much and it didn't close all the way due to the chains, but it made her feel a hell of a lot better. Setting about her task, Usagi quickly filled all of the washers; however, as she was sorting Misa's personal belongings, she came across a pair of bright blood red panties with matching bra. Cocking an eyebrow up, Usagi's eyes darted towards the already started load of L's whites. An evil smirk adorned her face as she opened the washer and _accidentally_ dropped the set into L's washer. Whistling to herself, Usagi finished loading up everything else and set out to do some other chores.

**_A couple hours and a drying session later…_**

"Usagi-san…" L mumbled as he picked up one of his long sleeved T-shirts from the laundry basket. He held it between his thumb and index finger, noting how the article of clothing was no longer the crisp, clean white he was used to. Instead, it was now a soft shade of rose pink. L's gaze dropped down to note that every shirt was the exact same shade. Even worse, his boxers would _match!_

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?" Usagi questioned from around the large pile of Misa's clothes.

"Would you mind informing me as to how a set of Misa's underwear managed to be mixed into my clothes?" he held the accursed pieces of cloth out towards Usagi. She, of course, feigned innocence.

"Ryuuzaki, I believe the better question would be, 'Why did you have a pair of her underwear mixed in with _your _clothes?'" Usagi lectured the detective while shooting him a disapproving glare. "One could only imagine that A, you were either being perverted and going through her dressers, B, you took them and decided to feel _pretty_, C, you and Misa have been doing more than just your regular fuss and fight out in the open. Tell me; have you two been having a little wrestling contest beneath the sheets?"

"I beg to differ, Usagi-san, for you seem to have left out one theory," L added and, at Usagi's question as to what that could be, he continued, "We must never forget D for it is as important as A, B, and C. It is even more important if one would add a very enraged yet childish woman who is out to seek revenge. D: You planted the articles of clothing as a way to get revenge."

"Well," Usagi stated as she walked over and took the bra and panties from him, "that's your theory." Usagi tossed the bra into Misa's pile but threw the panties sling shot style into L's face.

"Regardless to _your_ theory, inevitably, _I'm_ the one with the ovaries…thus, I'm right and _you're_ wrong," Usagi shrugged and sat up on the dryer.

"I fail to see the importance that your ovaries have in this debate," L threw the panties from his face to the pile. Usagi couldn't help but giggle at the slight twitch in L's left eye. Unless one was to look closely, they would never notice it. Usagi, however, did. Light must have too because he had stopped staring openly in shock at Usagi to stare in amusement at L.

"Simple, I'm the one with them and you're not," Usagi shrugged.

"Usagi-san-"

"Ovaries!" Usagi pointed towards her stomach and motioned for L not to argue further on the point.

"That point doesn't solve the problem of my laundry!" L barked out in a growl. Who knew that such a small scrap of a woman could get under his skin? Nevertheless, he found it quite refreshing.

"There is another solution altogether for that," Usagi chirped while jumping off of the washer and walking back towards L. She stepped as close as she could to him, stood on her tippy toes, and whispered into his ear, "Do your own!" Bringing her hands up, she pushed his chest, causing him to teeter back and fall into the large pink pile of his clothes.

It was then that the war of the clothes began. Many casualties were loss: Boxers, dress shirts, lacey underwear, and pants alike. None were forgotten but many were used to try and strangle the other. Before long, other objects were brought into the mix. By the time Light had tackled Usagi and pinned her down to stop her choke hold on L, the Laundry room was covered in many different articles of clothing, soap suds, detergent, dryer lint, dryer sheets, measuring cups, and water.

L and Usagi had successfully managed to destroy the Laundry room. Later on, once Watari had healed, they were both sat down and lectured on the 'To Do' and 'Not To Do' in the Laundry Room. First among the list was not to use super power strength to break the washers and use the water lines as a water hose.

Usagi was officially banned from that room for the rest of the duration of her stay…

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**Okay, not my best chapter, but, I tried! Also, I use my ovaries as an excuse when arguing with men. I mean, hey, they blame all their mistakes on their "ding-a-ling" can't women use the excuse of their ovaries?**

**RxR please.**

**Sesshy**

**PS: Not sure which I want to do next, give me ideas of what you want to see and I'll try to come up with something good for it. Or…pick between the three you see listed below…**

**Spam Attack**

**Cooking Chaos**

**Sugar Rush**


	7. Sugar Rush Disaster

**Tug O War Princess**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary:** **What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**I have an extra special thanking to give to Unspoiled Rini! She has been spreading word of my story to her friend(s). One of them actually read and reviewed my story. Thank you, once again, Vera-Sama! Not this chapter, but, next chapter, will be solely dedicated to both Unspoiled Rini and Vera-sama!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.

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**

"Ryuuzaki what did you do?!" Light accused the ever so 'innocent' detective that was lying adjacent of him, sprawled halfway atop him.

"Nothing," L quickly mumbled while keeping his eyes everywhere _but_ towards Light and Usagi.

"You _broke_ her!" Light accused as another high pitched squeal followed by sounds of crashing were heard.

"I did not!" L childishly defended his honor while climbing off of Light.

"Matsudaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!" Usagi cried out as the youngest detective of the Kira Task Force entered through the door. Light and L both stumbled and fell as Usagi made a mad dash towards the dark haired man. They were dragged over the carpet and hit face first into the couch that was set up in the monitoring room. Said couch toppled over as Usagi jumped it and tackled the unsuspecting young man.

"Matsuda have I ever told you how awesomely adorable you can be?" Usagi questioned at a high fast pace while waving her hands excitedly in the air.

"Uh…no?" Matsuda was lying flat on his back as Usagi sat cross legged on his stomach, bouncing and talking about how amazing he was.

"And there was that time when you-OH MY GOD, MISA!" Usagi once again made a mad dash for another unsuspecting person. L and Light were dragged right behind her after being pulled over the couch and landing rather roughly on their heads.

"What happened to Usagi-chan?" Matsuda questioned while watching nervously from his position on the floor.

"Why don't you ask L, he's the one that made her like this," Light threw the said detective another accusing look while trying to stand and restrain Usagi.

"And your hair is way too frizzy on the ends! What kind of shampoo are you using, Misa? Oh, did you know that Light-" A hand was instantly clamped over her mouth. Blinking repeatedly, Usagi looked behind her to see Light Yagami had been the one to quiet her. She hmphed and then smirked under his hand.

Light had a very bad feeling at the feel of her smirk. Before he had a chance to remove his hand however, he felt something wet on his palm.

"USAGI?" Light let her go and looked at the saliva coating his palm, "Did you just-"

"He said that he doesn't understand why you chatter all the time because the migraine it gives him is such a-" Once again Light placed a hand over her mouth and chuckled nervously at the dark look Misa was now sending to the both of them. L, on the other hand, smirked from his position on the floor.

"Ryuuzaki, what happened to Usagi-Chan?" Matsuda questioned the smirking detective.

"Ryuuzaki-kun," Usagi lunged towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging to his body. L looked down at the girl who now laid atop of his body.

"Yes, Bunny?"

"You remind me of a raccoon!" Usagi chirped while ruffling his hair.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes," Usagi nodded her head up and down fast and hard, causing one of the buns atop of her head to start to fall, "You're also one of the biggest emo-ish looking guys I know! Can I borrow your eyeliner?"

L's left eye began to twitch, something that never happened, "Emo?"

Usagi nodded and, at the sound of Light's chuckle, she moved to tackle him to the ground, "Light you need to loosen up and have some fun. Misa doesn't seem to be doing her job that good 'cause you're too much of a stiff!" At that, Light proceeded to turn redder then a tomato, L laughed until he was crying, and Matsuda proceeded to pass out.

"What did I say?" Usagi quieted down and looked around. Why were they acting so weird? Usagi shrugged and looked around for something to do. Her eyes fell upon the Death Note that had recently come into possession of the task force (*Not in the same time frame as the series but let's all pretend, k?*).

Rushing for it while ignoring the cries to not touch it, Usagi picked it up and started ripping out pages. Before Light and L had the chance to stop her, Usagi had successfully managed to rip out fifty pages which were scattered all across the floor. When they did get it out of her hands, she pouted and proceeded to pick up the pieces of paper, folding them up and turning them into deformed and mutant looking swans.

"Fly free my friend, fly free," Usagi tossed it into the air and watched dejectedly as it fell into a heap on the floor. Tears brimmed her eyes and she collapsed down beside it, begging her new friend to forgive her.

Everyone in the room stopped and simply stared. Their eyes turned towards L simultaneously and they all demanded to know, "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"…"

"Ryuuzaki…"

"She took my tea by mistake," L shrugged innocently. At this, the entire task force proceeded to sweat drop. Considering how much sugar Ryuuzaki put into his tea, no wonder Usagi was acting like she was off her rocker.

"It's too hot in here," they heard Usagi's cry of outrage. All heads turned towards the owner of the voice to find her half naked and clad in only her white lace bra and matching panties. The sound of Matsuda fainting once again was heard followed by the angered shrill of Misa who accused Usagi of trying to steal Light. L tilted his head to the side, looking Usagi up and down and smiling in approval. Light tried to reason with Usagi, urging her to redress while struggling not to look at her.

"It's five o'clock somewhere, Light!" Usagi decreed while running circles around him, causing the chains to hold him captive. Giggling madly, Usagi backed up, making Light fall but also causing her to trip over L and fall back on top of him.

"Owie," Usagi mumbled and then turned to see a leering smirk on L's face.

"L," Usagi blinked at him in confusion. At his nod, she continued, "Why is your cell phone poking my ass?"

"…"

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***sigh***

**I wasn't really feeling this chapter. I do **_**not**_** expect good reviews from it. Hey, I might rewrite it later on someday. I'm not sure. Anyway, please check out my story, My Fairytale. It is a Sailor Moon/Hellsing crossover. I'm sure you will love it :)**

**Sesshy**


	8. Pet Pains

**Tug O War Princess**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary:** **What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**I have an extra special thanking to give to Unspoiled Rini! She has been spreading word of my story to her friend(s). One of them actually read and reviewed my story. Thank you, once again, Vera-Sama! This chapter is dedicated to both of them :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.**

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**

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No, you are not getting a pet," L stated firmly while turning his eyes back to his stack of sugar cubes, ignoring the angry and determined look on Usagi's face.

"Yes. I. Am. You wouldn't let me keep Luna around," Usagi growled, "and the two of you are getting on my nerves. Neither of you are quite the conversationalists and your on-again-off-again fights drive me crazy. If I don't have something to do, I'll go insane!" Usagi started pulling on her pigtails as added effect to her tirade.

"You have plenty to do," L pushed a large stack of evidence in front of her without moving his attention away from his task.

"Something _besides_ Kira," Usagi whined while pushing the stack right back towards the peculiar detective.

"The answer is still no," L shrugged his shoulders, continuing to stand firm on his decision.

"Then let me have Luna stay here," Usagi felt what little patience she had left start to fade away.

"No."

"Why?"

"…"

If Usagi didn't know any better, she would swear that L was pouting. Blinking a few times before rubbing at her eyes, Usagi stared long and hard at L. Nope, she wasn't dreaming. He really was sulking and carrying a rather adorable pout. He was even half heartedly stacking his sugar cubes, something he _never_ does.

"Ryuuzaki?" Usagi gave her rolling chair a few scoots, making her way closer to him. L tilted his head in her direction, saying without words that he was listening.

"Please…" Usagi clasped both hands in front of her, linking her fingers together and giving him her best pouty doe-eyed look ever.

L turned his head and gazed at her with the wide owlish eyes of his. Usagi added a sniffle and let a few tears well up, ready to fall.

"No."

"Ryuuzaki!!!" Usagi stood and whacked her fist down on top of his head, causing his hand to slip and knock all the sugar cubes over. It took a few moments for Usagi to register what she just did. When she did, she blushed and started to apologize profusely.

L, however, didn't even more. Actually, he didn't even blink, making her wonder if he even felt the small assault.

"Bunny…"

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?" Usagi laughed nervously, bringing a hand back to rub the back of her head, a nervous habit of hers.

"I think I will let you have a pet."

Usagi's mouth fell open in shock as her brain tried to register what he had just said. For once, L wasn't causing too much of a fight. She instantly grew suspicious.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What kind?"

L did not answer her, he simply started typing on his computer, emailing Watari. In a few minutes, the elderly man walked in with a box. Around the box was a big red bow. Watari walked over and gently handed the box over to Usagi. She gazed at it intently while slowly opening it.

"What is it?" She questioned while opening the box.

"Your new pet," L said matter-of-factly.

Usagi smiled and hurriedly opened the box the rest of the way. Her happiness, however, was short lived when she noted what was inside of it. Looking up at L, she gave him a look that could kill, "Funny, Ryuuzaki…funny."

"What is it Usagi-Chan?" Matsuda questioned from behind. Usagi growled and dumped the contents of the box onto the table. A very large rock fell with a loud clack onto the table. Flecks of dirt fell from it and settled around the glass that was surely to be scratched now.

"It does not require food, water, attention, or someone to clean up after it," L shrugged his shoulders while trying to rebuild his sugar cube stack.

"True," Usagi stated sarcastically. She wrapped her slender fingers around the small object. It was a small black rock the size of a golf ball, one that could be found in any garden.

"It's also portable," Matsuda piped in, smiling and trying to help Usagi. At her glare, he shrank back, realizing that it wasn't the best time to open his mouth.

"Matsuda is right," Usagi smirked and threw a mischievous glance at the back of L's head.

"Usagi-san you wouldn't really carry that with you woul-" Light stopped short when he watched Usagi toss the rock into the air, catching it and then tossing it at the back of L's head.

"Not to mention it's better than any guard dog, right Ryuuzaki?" Usagi questioned the detective with the growing bump on his head. A pale hand reached back to tenderly touch the spot.

"So it would seem," L shrugged, much to Usagi's irritation, and continued with what he was doing.

"Ryuuzaki I demand that you listen to me and let me have at least a gold fish! How much trouble could it be?"

_One Goldfish later…_

"Usagi…."

"Yes Ryuuzaki?" Usagi questioned as she was pulled to his side by the chain that connected him. Stumbling into his back, she stood upon her tip toes to see over his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Why is that in my cup?"

Giving up on looking over his tall frame, Usagi decided to look around it, "Oh, you mean Sir Bubbles?"

"Sir…what?"

"Sir Bubbles VI… technically. He was once the high Prince of Bubbletania; however, his evil twin, Duke Fishington, kicked him out of his castle and stranded him into your cup…" Usagi shrugged her shoulders and took away L's favorite tea cup.

"Usagi…"

"Yes?"

"No more Gold Fish…"

"But…"

"No buts, find something else to have," L ordered, "And get rid of him and his evil twin."

"Fine…"

_One parakeet later…_

"Ryuuzaki, he didn't mean it!" Usagi pleaded while trying to calm the detective down and get the poo out of his hair.

"Usagi…"

"I know …"

_One hamster later…_

"I know…" Usagi pouted while handing L some pain meds and a large freezer bag of ice. L took both from her while shooting the hamster, Lord Hammy, a glare. Swallowing the pills, L placed the baggie in the middle of his lap, wincing at the cold chill but sighing as the pain turned to numbness.

"Ryuuzaki I am so sorry, I thought it was a rat…" Misa cried out over and over, apologizing for kicking him in the jewels, "I saw it climbing up your pants leg …and …I-I'm sorry…"

_One stuffed animal later…_

"This is ridiculous…"

"You wouldn't let me have any other pet so I don't have a choice," Usagi shrugged while making L hold her stuffed poodle, Mimi.

"You could have left it at Head Quarters," L stated while holding the dog by the ear.

"Ryuuzaki, that is not the proper way to hold a dog or any animal for that matter. Hold it right!" Usagi sent him a glare that promised pain if he did not obey. Grudgingly, he followed orders and held it correctly.

"Besides, it is cruel to leave a animal alone in some large and lonely building without anyway to go use the rest room, find water and food, or play," Usagi stated knowingly while searching through the Doggy-Dress-Up area of a local pet store.

"Usagi…never mind…" Light mumbled when Usagi sent him a glare that clearly stated he wasn't to interfere.

"Here we go," Usagi beamed as she picked out a pretty pink and sparkly tutu outfit.

"You should have just let her keep the cat," Light whispered to L.

"For once, Light, we are in total agreement," L sighed while Usagi dragged them towards the front to checkout. As they made their way to the register, they all passed by the cat adoption center.

"Achew!"

"Bless you, Ryuuzaki," Usagi smiled softly to herself while purposefully stalling at that spot to tie her shoe. L's constant sneezes' were enough compensation for her to come here and look like a total fool for buying a stuff dog an outfit.

"You know what," Usagi thought allowed to herself while turning to hold the outfit up to the plushie, "I don't like this at all. Oh well, I didn't really see anything else that I really liked, truthfully…"

"Usagi…"

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

"I'm hate you."

"I love you too, Ryuuzaki!"

"I need a vacation..." Light mumbled under his breath while shaking his head at the two people next to him.

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**Not my best work, but, it's what my crazed mind came up with. I hope you all enjoyed and I look forward to your feedback :)**

**Sesshy**


	9. Patron Tequila

**Tug O War Princess**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: What if L was not the only one to be chained to Light? What if he was chained to another, much more pleasant person than simply just L?**

**Note: Inspired by the song, Patron Tequila by the Paradiso Girls.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Death Note. I do not own the characters pertaining to either anime. I am simply using them for my own amusement.

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**

Light found himself praying to whatever god was listening to save him from this hell. How he ended up in a club over flowing with sweaty bodies grinding on the dance floor was beyond him. The music blasted loud and the bass shook the whole building, sending vibrations up and down his body. Casting his eyes to his side, he noted that he wasn't the only one experiencing a migraine. Indeed, L seemed to be just as uncomfortable as he; however, their companion, Usagi, seemed quite content with where she was and what was going on around her. Such a strange woman.

"Come on," she yelled over the music, pulling both detectives towards the crowded bar. Squeezing her way through half clothed bodies covered in sweat and smelling of smoke and alcohol, she made her way to the bar that glowed different neon colors. Smiling in victory, she tugged the two guys towards her, bringing them to sit on either side of her. The lights of the bar made her black leather mini dress shine different colors. L and Light found themselves staring fixated at her appearance. The pale skin of hers contrasted well with the dark material of her dress. The neckline of her dress dipped down and stopped at a sharp point right between her breasts, showing off a nice bit of cleavage. Her neck was adorned with a matching chocker. Her hands were covered in leather biker gloves with the fingers cut out and her feet were adorned in knee high black leather spiked heels that zipped and buckled up. Her hair was held up in a messy bun and ponytail, leaving small wisps to fall in her eyes and on her neck.

"Remind me what we are doing here again," L ordered her with annoyance dripping from his voice. Usagi must not have heard him or either paid him no mind. She was too busy ordering drinks.

Light strained his hearing, trying to hear what she was ordering but the music was just too loud. The bar tender walked off after giving the blonde girl a wink. Light found himself already disliking the fellow. When the man returned, he had three drinks in his hands.

The drinks were sat before Usagi and she smiled happily. Picking out one, she handed the other two to Light and L.

"What is it?" L questioned while gazing intently at the drink in his hand. Usagi shrugged and mumbled that she didn't know what they wanted. She simply told the bartender to fix them whatever.

"What do you have?" L questioned her, staring at the drink in Usagi's hand. Her small hand held a glass filled with a clear liquid. Hooked onto the brim of the cup was a slice of Lime.

"Patron Tequila," Usagi stated before downing the drink whole. L and Light stared shocked as she ordered another glass. No matter how hard they tried to stop her, she kept drinking until the bar tender had to cut her off. By then, however, it was too late. Usagi was smiling giddily and flirting with the bartender.

"You're drunk," L stated in surprise. It wasn't really a surprise considering how strong Tequila could be but, still.

"Wow, Ryuuzaki, you're so smart," Usagi gushed while leaning over towards him. During her intoxicated state, unfortunately, she was not well balanced and ended up falling into his chest. Giggling like crazy she pushed herself back on top of the stool.

"Sorry sexy," she mumbled while drying to get the last drop of her beverage out of her cup. Both L and Light's eyebrows shot up towards their hairline. Sexy?

"I wanna dance," Usagi slurred out. Sliding out of the stool she made her way towards the dance floor, disappearing into the sea of hot and sweaty bodies and leaving L and Light to watch after her. Seconds ticked by before they realized exactly what she had done. Their eyes shot towards the other end of their cuffs, shit.

"Usagi!" They both shouted, abandoning their untouched drinks and chasing after her. Sadly, unlike her, they had troubles moving around the crowded dance floor. By the time they had made it through, Usagi was standing atop one of the small round tables near the wall, dancing with another girl. The men sitting at the table were hollering and a hooting, urging them on as the music picked up. Light pushed them aside and yanked Usagi's hand, making her lose her balance and fall over on him. They both crashed to the ground and Usagi ended up on top of Light, straddling him.

"Aw, Light, you ruined the fun," She giggled while continuing her grinding dance on top of him. Light could only gulp and fidget nervously from under her. Yanking her down had definitely not been a good idea on his behalf, especially considering what she was wearing. Thankfully, L saved him, for the time being, by hoisting her up and holding her against his side.

Light had never been more thankful in his life for L's interference. Usagi in a tight black leather mini dress was not good for a man's health. Light pushed himself back up and dusted himself off before turning to face her again. By then, L had already rehooked the cuff around her wrist, making sure it was tight. Light followed his lead and cuffed her other hand to his.

"You boys and your kinky ways," Usagi giggled while fingering the cuffs that were once again wrapped around her delicate wrists. "All we need now is a blindfold, gag, and a couple whips and we'd be perfect for the BDSM scene. Light and L both found themselves blushing at the thought of a bound and gagged Usagi in nothing but a sexy leather corset and matching thong.

"I knew you both weren't as innocent as you pretended to be," Usagi threw them a wink her hips swayed to the beat of the music. Tugging at her arms, Light and L stumbled to her, their bodies pressed against hers, L in the back and Light in the front.

"Come on guys, relax, dance, and have fun!" Usagi shouted over the music, dancing and grinding to the beat, oblivious to the stares she was receiving.

"I think it's time we head back," Light stated while pulling away from her. Usagi, however, would have none of that. Reaching out, she grabbed a hold of his shirt, yanking him back and pressing her body firmly into his.

"Aw, is Light shy?" Usagi whispered into his ear while one arm wrapped around his neck. The other dragged down his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt and scratching into his chest.

"I, for once, agree with Light," L wrapped an arm around Usagi's waist and yanked her back into him. Turning around, Usagi gave L a knowing smirk.

"Is someone jealous?"

A slight blush could be seen on the detective's face. He would later on blame it on the excellent view of Usagi's breasts when she pushed them up against his chest, "Not in the least-"

Usagi placed a finger over L's lips, tsk-ing him for not being honest with her, "You're so cute when your flustered L." The smell of alcohol was still strong on her breath, making it obvious that she was still under its control. L didn't mind one bit, though, when she moved her hand into his hair, gripping it in a tight fist, and yanked his head down, kissing him hard.

"Maybe we should come here more often," L whispered under his breath after Usagi pulled back, hiccupping and clutching her dizzy head.

"That's the spirit!" She cheered, jumping up and shoving a fist into the air only to fall on he ass when her heel slipped in a puddle of spilt beer.

"Ryuuzaki are you crazy?" Light demanded of him, slightly put off at the scene that had just taken place.

"By the end of the night I'll have ya'll so messed up!" Usagi chanted a song while popping her back and shaking her ass to the beat after standing back up. Yes, Usagi had way too much to drink tonight.

"Aw, Light is jealous but of who? You jealous I kissed L or he kissed me?" Usagi tilted her head to the side, blinking in an innocent yet drunken daze towards Light. L and Light looked towards her in shock, gaping openly.

"What?!" She demanded in a pout.

"Hey sweet thing," a burly man hollered over the loud music to the drunken blonde. She squeaked when she felt the man's fingers pinching her still swaying bootay.

"Back off," Light ordered the drunken man while pulling the girl behind him.

"What if I don't want to?"

"I'll do this," Usagi stated while sliding between Light's legs and shoving her foot up in the air, hitting the guy's jaw.

"That's how Sail-" Usagi was silenced by Light, silencing her with a kiss to prevent her from announcing her secret identity.

Usagi blinked a couple times up towards Light with a look of confusion and amazement on her face. Light avoided her eyes but at the sound of a moan, his eyes flickered down in time to see Usagi's face turn green. He began to panic and tried to get away, but Usagi was too quick for him. Bending over slightly and holding a hand to her stomach, Usagi emptied the contents of her stomach. A mixture of supper, bar peanuts, and Patron Tequila flew from her mouth and landed all over his chest.

"I don't…feel…good…" With that said, Usagi proceeded to pass out, falling back into L's arms.

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**RxR**

**Sessy**


	10. Shots

**Shots**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

Summary: He could hardly recognize the burning taste of the strong liquor over the sweet essence of her body…DN/SM

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the voices inside of my head that whisper deceptively to me in the middle of the night, inspiring such random one-shots…**

**Note: This is actually a one-shot I made seperate. In all honesty, I've been making a few DN/SM one-shots separate; however, all BUT this one did NOT have Usagi cuffed between L and Light. So, to be fair, I added it here. Since, ya know, that is what this story is all about-random craziness with Usagi stuck between two men constantly playing tug-o-war of the wits. Here you go...Also, this may be the last one....for a long while at least...REVIEW  
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**…**

L, also known to others by Ryuzaki, one of his alias', considered himself a smart man. Given his age, not many could contest with this opinion which L thought of as fact. As not only the greatest detective, but the second (Eraldo Coil) and third (Deneuve) best, L was hardly ever at a loss for anything. Tonight, however, it would seem to be the exception.

In order to solve a problem, one must figure out the result of said problem. L had always prided himself on his abilities to solve even the most complex problems in life. Currently, he was meeting his match in the form of a blond haired, blue eyed beauty.

Unfortunately for him, this one girl not only causes a solitary problem, but other problems branched out from the original. Each time he found himself solving one of the problems that were her; another would arise even more complicated than the previous. Truly, it was confusing. Ah, but they were the puzzle that was Usagi. L could not help but to let a small smirk tug at his lips.

The current problem in which he was hoping to solve was in regards to the predicament he found himself in alongside both Usagi and Light. Seeing as one could not go anywhere without the other two, L constantly found himself in awkward situations which were all created by the presence of the blond enigma.

A loud noise resembling a snore brought L's mind back to reality. Casting his amused eyes to the other side of the table, he took note of Light Yagami passed out in the booth. The head of brown hair was leaned back at a rather uncomfortable looking position. The Kira suspect's mouth was open, drool dribbling from the corner and a pink haze brushing across his cheeks and nose. In one hand, Light held a small shot glass, the contents of which had long since been spilt in his lap. His other arm, however, was swinging back and forth rather roughly in sync with the motions of L's one hand. Following the matching chains up towards the source of the movement, L was once again aware of the fact that Usagi stood atop their table, dancing her cares away.

Wide eyes of the deepest black stared at the form of the girl. Her blond hair had long since loosened from its ponytail, causing strands to slip from their place. A small sheen of sweat covered the exposed skin of her body, making her body glow and shine in the various lights that flashed through the club. Her small body was clothed in a leather miniskirt that just managed to cover her round bum. Smooth midriff was exposed due to the short length of the blond's pink and silver tube top. Covering her small shoulders and thin arms was a black leather half jacket. Her long legs were covered in dark stockings which bore several tares now. Dainty feet were hidden inside buckled leather platform boots, provided by Misa earlier. Large, black, hoop earrings swayed back and forth in her ears, slapping her face lightly as she moved.

Faintly, in the back of his mind, L registered the song that was blasting from all the speakers in the room, Hot Mess. The blond was enthusiastically singing to the music; however, the bass drowned out her voice, but that did not stop her from dancing to the lyrics. L had to admit, she was quite the dancer. Years of fighting youma had left her body lither, slender, and well adapt to handle the moves required for such a song.

_"…you're a hot mess and I'm fallin' for you…"_

The lyrics flowed in and out of L's ears while he watched the blond continue to move, sway, and dance to the music, spilling some of the drink in her hand. It was amazing how easily and fast the blond managed to get drunk.

_"…you're a hot mess and lovin' it…hell yes!"_

L found himself entranced with the sight but was able to pull himself away, eventually. He once again began to question his reasons for being here. As if the thought manifested the subject, Rei, one of Usagi's friends, appeared with her fiancé, Chad, or so L believed. Yes, that was right. Usagi's friends had wanted to celebrate with their friend, Rei. Apparently, the girl had once sworn off men, something the strange girls had wanted to see fall apart. As soon as he spotted the two, they seemed to disappear back into the sea of grinding bodies.

_"…Hot mess and lovin' it, hell yes!"_

The song finally died down, and so did Usagi's excitement. After a brief pause, she fell to the table, landing on her barely covered butt. Tilting her head back, Usagi downed what little remained of her drink.

"That was fun!" She spoke to no one in particular. Her voice was slightly higher than per usual as she spoke.

"Hey Usagi," another voice called. From within the sea of bodies, L noted two other friends of Usagi push through.

"Minako, Ami!" Usagi moved to slide off the table but failed. Instead, her head began to spin and she fell back atop the table, laying splayed out across the wood surface.

"Usagi we're gonna do body shots, wanna join?" Minako questioned, stumbling as she made her way closer. Usagi was not the only one to get drunk so soon tonight, L noted.

"Body shots?" Usagi questioned through the haze that all the alcohol had placed in her mind. She pushed her body up in a prop with her elbows, throwing a confused look towards the girls in question.

Minako rolled her eyes and proceeded to fill Usagi in on what exactly body shots were. Even through her drunken state, Usagi had the decency to blush. L, too, found it hard not to blush at the thought.

"I don't think so…" Usagi mumbled to herself, pretending to consider the idea.

"Chicken shit!" Minako suddenly barked out, covering her mouth in shock after she spoke it.

"What did you say?" Usagi demanded, a slightly miffed expression covering her face.

"You heard me," Minako spoke while gathering herself, "Chicken shit! You're too chicken to do it."

"I am not!"

"Then prove it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"FINE!"

Minako opened her mouth to scream "YES" again, but stopped. Blinking a few times, she smiled and asked the bluenette behind her to go and order several shots of tequila, a lime or two, and some salt. While Ami left to gather the ingredients for the shots, Minako began asking Usagi what guy she wanted to have take the shot. Usagi blinked in confusion.

"But I thought I was going to-"

"Nope, you're giving it!" Minako cheered while jumping up and down, drawing the attention of several guys as her ass and breasts bounced.

"But…but…" Usagi tried to reason but a drink was shoved in her face. Taking it, Usagi downed it, squeezing her eyes shut at the toxic taste. A small hiccup followed.

"Alright, got all the stuff, Ames?" Minako questioned the shorter girl. Ami held up her tray that was filled with several shots of tequila, a bowl of limes, and a shot glass full of salt.

"Hell yeah!" Minako cheered again while yelling for volunteers. To Usagi's drunken horror, quite a few stepped forward, all eyes looking directly at her. Usagi gulped and prepared to make a run for it; however, a familiar voice stopped her.

"I'll take a shot," L spoke smoothly, saving Usagi from the horror of having random men all over her. All three females shot him a surprised look. Usagi opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word, a Lime was shoved into her mouth, peeling between her teeth. Climbing over Light's immobile body, Minako pinned Usagi's shoulders down, ordering Ami to hold the legs. The meek girl was uncertain at first; however, a patented Minako drunken glare had her following orders.

The salt was sat beside L as Minako pulled Usagi's tube top up until it scrunched under her breasts. Picking up a shot of tequila, Minako slowly poured the liquid over Usagi's pale skin, letting some settle in her belly button.

"Lick your finger, dip it in the salt, lick it again," Minako instructed, watching and making sure L followed orders. L lifted his finger to his mouth, sucking on the end before letting it dip into the salt cup next to him. He slowly licked his finger clean, as he watched Usagi's blush deepen.

"Good, now lean over and either lick or suck the tequila off of her," Minako ordered while smiling in triumph. L smirked as he leaned over, letting the tip of his tongue run across the smooth skin of Usagi's stomach.

Usagi closed her eyes, squeezing them tight right before L's tongue touched her skin. When the contact was made, a small gasp escaped her and her body arched up off the table, making the alcohol roll down her body.

"Catch it before it hits her skirt!" Minako ordered in panic, trying to keep Usagi still.

L nodded and pressed the flat of his tongue to the smooth skin, noticing that it now was covered in goosebumps. As he licked all of her skin clean, he stopped at her belly button, tracing it with his tongue before covering it with his lips, sucking the tequila out of hit. Leaning back up, he looked towards Usagi's mouth.

"Yes, not take the lime with your teeth," Minako nodded and watched as L let his head loom over Usagi's.

Wide blue eyes stared up at the man before her in embarrassment, surprise, and something else L couldn't place. L moved his lips closer, opening his mouth and letting his teeth chomp down on the lime. Sitting back up, he bit and sucked on the green slice.

"Congrats, Usa, on your first ever body shot!" Minako clapped while falling into the round booth. Though she had released the other blond, Minako watched as Usagi laid still, blushing and staring at L as if he was from another planet. Come to think of it, Minako had always assumed that the possibility wasn't as far fetched as one might seem. His unusual quirks could easily back up the theory.

"Want another, Ryuzaki?" Minako questioned with a wink. L turned his gaze from Usagi's to Minako. Spitting out the lime, he smiled his famous innocent and yet not, smile.

"I believe I do."

Another song began to play, one all too appropriate for the occasion as Minako set about fixing round two….

_"…Bottoms up, let's go round two!_

_Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,_

_shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,_

_Everybody!_

_Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,_

_shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!_

_….So cups in the air, everybody lets take shots!_

_…_

_Shots! Patron on the rocks and I'm ready for some shots,_

_The women come around every time I'm pouring shots,_

_Their panties hit the ground every time I give um shots,_

_So cups in the air, every body lets take shots!"_

**…

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**Yep, you know it. Shots by LMFAO and Lil John inspired this fanfic! I hope you all enjoy. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think, k? **

**Oh, do go to my FF page and check out my other stories (My Promise and My Fairytale, especially). I just know you will love them. I plan to update them soon as soon as I get a few more reviews :D**

**Sesshy**


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